Sunday, September 27, 2009

Losing the Weight

I have been on a diet for the past six months or so. I have taken off 28 pounds at this point and am trying to lose 25 more. It has not been easy especially as my metabolism has diminished as I have aged. I eat far less and I been walking for 30 minutes three times a week, but progress has been slow. I am avoiding diet plans because I know I won’t stick to them once I lose all the weight. I am just working on new behaviors that I will continue to live out after the pounds are finally shed.

I gained all the weight from a particular antipsychotic I was taking last year. I now take a different one, but live with the consequences of less energy, shortness of breath and having had to buy larger clothing. All from weighing more than I ever have. Working on the outside of me is difficult. But though my focus is on the exterior, I am reminded that I still need to work on the inside, too.

While it is a good thing I am taking care of my body, taking care of my spiritual life should not be relegated to the back burner. It needs equal if not more attention while I change my lifestyle to stay healthy. The life of a Christian requires lifestyle changes as well, and that begins on the inside. God looks at the heart when considering how we live up to a life that reflects Christ on the outside. The workout begins within and works its way out in a visibly changed life. The spiritual life cannot be neglected anymore than our physical bodies should be.

I am trying to listen to the Holy Spirit as I work off the physical weight so I do not fail to work off the weight of sin in my life. The good news is that the grace of God is at work within me to make my efforts bear fruit. He does not ask of me what I am unable to do; he is the one at work within me. I am cooperating with him as my life gradually changes. I am learning new behaviors in the heart and mind that lead to a Christ-like life.

I will continue to lose weight, and I will have to continue to be patient with the slow progress. So too, I will have to be patient as my heart slowly changes as well. Both will happen, it’s just going to take a little longer than I had first hoped. In the end, I will once again weigh what I did before, and one day, I will finally be like Christ in love and grace.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Restoring Hope

Recently several people I know have experienced loss in their lives, loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, and loss of health and they are understandably hurting and sad. But the loss I believe hurts the most is loss of hope. When I lost my father, I was deeply saddened and it hurt, but I knew he was in a far better place, no longer in pain. Because I believe I will see him and my grandmother again, I have hope.

But not all are able to cling to hope when life deals them a hard blow. Times of pain and suffering seem to touch us all and the circumstances can be so severe that all hope of getting through, of ever feeling anything but sorrow is lost. I have had times of hopelessness, most recently with the instability I was experiencing from the bipolar disorder I live with. I was in a place of feeling I would never smile again, of feeling life was too hard and death looking far better.

I have had hope restored partly because of medications that have leveled me out again. Even more, hope came back due to the prayers of loved ones, people in my life who do not give up on me even when I feel like giving up and throwing in the towel. But most of all, it is God who restores hope. If I did not believe that there is life after death, I would truly be a lost soul who would not see the point of going on. Why would I? But his promises give hope when all else says otherwise.

People all around us are hurting and have lost hope. Hope of a future, hope of restored health. Hope of having the means to pay bills and of ever finding another job. Hope of ever having joy again, of ever savoring life to its fullest. Hope of a saved marriage or restoration of a friendship. So much loss and so much pain.

Being there for someone who has suffered loss of whatever nature is what people need the most. We demonstrate love when we are present to the hopeless. But prayer is the quiet unseen action that God sees and hears as he gently heals broken hearts. It is his Spirit that moves in the hearts and minds of those who have suffered great loss and restores hope. We cannot always be present to those who are hurting, but we can pray.

Today, make a difference in the life of someone who feels hopeless. Show love anyway you can, be present to them, and above all pray, because prayer can move mountains and prayer will move us to reach out even more.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Measuring Up

Recently, I joined the ranks of thousands who connect with others via Facebook.com. It began as somewhat of an encouragement from my employer, but I soon found my high school and even grade school had networks. Suddenly, I was in contact with friends of years long ago, people I had lost touch with since graduating in 1973. A whole new world, as well as an old world, has opened to me.

As exciting as it as has been so far, I find myself falling into the comparison trap. I read of the very successful lives of some of my former classmates, of their graduate level educations, high dollar jobs and long successful careers, multi-car garages attached to 5,000 sq. foot homes, vacations in Europe, on and on. I stop and look at mine and I feel somewhat a failure.

My life in high school was tenuous already and I began a 15 year descent into alcoholism and drug addiction. While I managed to get a degree somehow, I lived life as though nothing mattered but getting high. While many of my classmates were building successful lives, I was destroying mine. It would be a long time until I would discover that I had been self medicating, but even that has its bad point. While they all were healthy, I was becoming increasingly ill. All in all, I fall short in comparison.

But it’s a dangerous thing to get into comparing oneself with others. The simple truth is we all use different measuring sticks, we all have different standards. But even beyond that, we are all unique and have differing gifts and abilities, none of our own making, because it is God who has done the gifting. The bible gives wisdom about the tendency to compare ourselves with others: …we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. Galatians 5:25b, The Message Translation.

Each of us is an original. How can we be measured in comparison with each other? As I write this, I realize it’s true. Yes, I wasted a lot of precious years. Yes, I have a mental illness. And yes, I have mishandled finances. But I have a wonderful long-term marriage, a precious and gifted son, loyal and loving friends. The more I think about it, the more I realize just what a successful life I have. I may be a late bloomer, but that’s just fine. By the grace of God, I can live the life he fashioned me to live and it’s his measurement of me that matters, and his alone.

The next message I receive from one of my old classmates, I will read and enjoy and not worry about how my life’s story measures up, because in God’s eyes, I am a success.