Christmas is over and a new year is soon arriving. This coming week is one in which many traditionally take stock of the past year, making an assessment and setting goals for the new year. I’ve never been very good at that. It’s a process that I find daunting, yet I know there are things I could resolve to do:
I need to eat better and shed some pounds. I need to read my bible daily and pray more throughout the day. I need to say “I love you” more often to those I do. I need to be more generous with my time and talent. I need to be a better witness for the Lord. The list could go on, but I already feel like I will probably fail to follow through with just the ones I've mentioned. Good intentions are not enough.
Truth is no goals are attainable without the power of the Holy Spirit. And no goals should be set without the direction of the Spirit. Too often in the past, I have set goals that were not of God and I failed miserably. It’s not that God was unwilling to help, but he knows me well and has better plans for my well-being than I can come up with. It might just be that he wants me to focus on one thing that is the most needful and to work toward that goal without the distraction of goals that although good, yet are not as urgent as the one thing he wants me to work on.
So, New Year’s number one resolution: seek the Lord for what I need to work on this coming year, a goal that is attainable even if it proves difficult. To prayerfully consider what is the most needful to please God and work out his plan for me. Whatever the goal, the outcome will be the result of a joint collaboration between us; his strength, his grace, his wisdom and my willingness and perseverance.
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord. (Jeremiah 29: 11-14a). A promise for the new year that all can take to heart.
Those words give me hope that his desire is to see his children succeed so they will hear from Jesus the words, Well done my good and faithful servant. I cannot think of a better goal than that.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Good News
Two days until Christmas and for once, I am prepared for the festivities of the day. We waited until my son came home to buy a tree and decorate it. It is perfect even if I do have to water daily. I could maybe forgo a real tree, but my son has always wanted to have the real thing, so as long as he comes home for Christmas, we’ll stick with a live tree. I don’t know; perhaps we’ll still have a live tree even after he has moved on. It’s hard to replace that pine aroma. And somehow it does seem to make the day more real, at least in my mind. There is a certain “rusticness” to it that lends itself toward the meanness of the first Christmas in a stable. Nothing artificial there.
This is not a commentary about the merits of live trees versus artificial. I do not intend to slam store bought trees. The convenience is perfectly fine. But I think I choose live trees as a way to resist the season of retail frenzy, the artificial and material observance of a holy day that has become a holiday, sanitized and repackaged by our secular culture to be more acceptable to those who choose not to recognize a King born 2,000 year ago. They have shut their eyes and cannot see the stable, the angels, the Babe in swaddling clothes. The day no longer means anything other than gift giving and a special dinner.
I have sorrow over those who will not see, who will not hear the truth of I AM having come down from heaven to walk among those he formed with his own hands. He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. John 1:10. His humble entry into the world is folly to those who do not believe. It confounds the worldly wise and challenges those who do believe. It demands a choice: embrace or walk away.
This Christmas season, we as Christians celebrate what we do embrace, the beginning of the unfolding of God’s plan for salvation. We have waited patiently through Advent for the coming of the King of kings. His birth draws nigh and our anticipation grows as the day approaches. The challenge to believers is to carry the truth of Christmas to those who have yet to believe. As we welcome the Lordly Baby into our hearts and lives, let us remember the world that so desperately needs to hear the good news; from Darfur and
May your Christmas be rich with the Spirit's presence and joy-filled. The King has come!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Christmas Gift
The season has officially arrived. Time to bring out the holiday decorations collected over the years, along with new ones purchased at half price after Christmas last year—the special trappings that announce the season of celebration. Trees are trimmed, candles lit, carols sung, lists made, gifts purchased and wrapped, parties planned, church plays produced, turkeys roasted, and every tradition of every family is carefully observed for the sake of memories.
It would be tempting to write a critique about the increasing secularization of our “holy days” traditions. But the deepening layers of fluff that threaten to obscure Christ are a legitimate concern I’ll save for another essay. Truthfully, the whole season with its traditions can produce a warm feeling in me, a kind of rosy glow that makes me want to stuff cash into the red pots of bell ringers, hug strangers, and maybe even “teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” That’s a good thing—or is it?
I’ve heard many Christmas sermons over the years, but none has enlightened nor disturbed me more than the words of an unsaved woman I knew some years ago. While helping decorate a hall for a holiday party, she made the off-handed remark, “I just love Christmas. You know, the baby Jesus thing and all that stuff. It gives me a warm feeling.”
I had forgotten that conversation until today. At the time, I didn’t think much about her comment, except that she needed to know baby Jesus grew up and died for her. Maybe I even said that, I really don’t remember. Now I find her words unsettling in a different way. She had expressed sentimental feelings that are uncomfortably close to what I, and probably other Christians feel.
Sentimentality isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when it masquerades as spirituality, it satisfies merely at a surface level, distorting love and grace by diminishing them. The deep ocean of God’s love and grace becomes a wading pool. Instead of being immersed in His great love, we slosh around, accepting shallow spirituality and risk missing the awesome waves of His passion that can only be experienced when we venture out into waters over our heads.
The memory of that comment resurfaced today in the form of a question God posed to me: Do you understand the cost of the Incarnation?
Christians are (or should be) familiar with the basic theology of the Incarnation: Christ was born of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary. God became fully human. We recite it in our creeds, we read it in the Bible, and hear it from the pulpit. We proclaim Christ’s divinity and humanity based on the doctrine of the Incarnation. But do we really understand the price the Son of God paid when He became the Son of Man?
I must confess, this morning during my prayer time, it occurred to me I did not. As I prayed, I wondered if indeed it was even possible in this life to fully comprehend the depth of sacrifice Jesus made when He stepped out of eternity and into time.
In The Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis wrote, “… the higher a thing is, the lower it can descend—man can sympathize with a horse but a horse cannot sympathize with a rat.” I believe it was also C. S. Lewis who observed that it is barely within the capacity of humans to understand how amazing an act of condescension it would be for a man to become a lower creature. It is one to thing to have a level of consciousness that enables one to sympathize with a lesser creature, such as a rat, it is entirely another to actually become one and experience all that rats experience, having left the lofty realm of humanness and all that entails.
We can only imagine the possibility, since no man has ever emptied himself of all his natural attributes, retaining only the knowledge that he is still in essence a man, and taken the likeness and consciousness of a lower creature—to be both that lower life form and man. Even though the chasm between man and rat is incredibly broad, the analogy falls short because humans and rats still share a common bond: they are both created beings. The analogy cannot begin to express the magnitude of the condescension of the Creator in becoming the creature.
It is the mystery of the Incarnation: God becoming one of His creatures, yet still being God in essence. What Jesus left behind when He condescended to the level of a dividing cell in Mary’s womb is what I have never fully appreciated, and I say that to my sorrow, because the sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf began long before the cross.
The entire seventeenth chapter of the Gospel of John records the last time Jesus prayed with His disciples before His crucifixion. Next to the anguished prayer in Gethsemane, it is probably the most passionate prayer ever uttered, and He prayed it not only for the small band of men gathered around Him, but also for us:
“And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was… Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may also be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world (v. 5, 24).”
The inclusion of that request in His prayer reveals His desire that we understand the level from which He had descended to walk among humanity. He had willingly left the Father’s presence in a place of grandeur and glory beyond human imagining, and emptied Himself of the attributes that made Him God.
In Philippians 2:6-11, Paul attempts to describe the depth Jesus’ sacrifice through the Incarnation:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore, God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.
He made Himself nothing. The All in All, the Alpha and Omega, the Almighty became a creature, a lowly servant, and willingly bore the cross—our cross, our sin, our shame. The question still reverberates: do I understand the cost of the Incarnation?
I will enjoy the Christmas season. I will probably overeat, spend a little too much, and observe all the traditions, sacred and silly. But there will be a silent prayer offered continually from my heart: that I would grow beyond sentimentality and press deeper into the heart of God where emotions are transformed and become holy.
Moses prayed to see God’s glory, and God granted his request, but only gave him a glimpse. He covered Moses’ eyes with His hand as He passed telling him, “you cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me and live.” But Jesus is the face of God, and we are commanded to focus our attention and our hope in Him. The hand of God no longer blocks our view, only our own hands cast up in fear, shame, or ignorance.
It may well be that before “the mortal is clothed with immortality,” my vision will be obscured for countless reasons. But His prayer will ultimately be answered. Until that day, like Paul, I will seek to grasp the width and length and depth and height of His love—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, the love that compelled the Incarnation—and to truly understand His incredible Christmas gift.
It would be tempting to write a critique about the increasing secularization of our “holy days” traditions. But the deepening layers of fluff that threaten to obscure Christ are a legitimate concern I’ll save for another essay. Truthfully, the whole season with its traditions can produce a warm feeling in me, a kind of rosy glow that makes me want to stuff cash into the red pots of bell ringers, hug strangers, and maybe even “teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” That’s a good thing—or is it?
I’ve heard many Christmas sermons over the years, but none has enlightened nor disturbed me more than the words of an unsaved woman I knew some years ago. While helping decorate a hall for a holiday party, she made the off-handed remark, “I just love Christmas. You know, the baby Jesus thing and all that stuff. It gives me a warm feeling.”
I had forgotten that conversation until today. At the time, I didn’t think much about her comment, except that she needed to know baby Jesus grew up and died for her. Maybe I even said that, I really don’t remember. Now I find her words unsettling in a different way. She had expressed sentimental feelings that are uncomfortably close to what I, and probably other Christians feel.
Sentimentality isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when it masquerades as spirituality, it satisfies merely at a surface level, distorting love and grace by diminishing them. The deep ocean of God’s love and grace becomes a wading pool. Instead of being immersed in His great love, we slosh around, accepting shallow spirituality and risk missing the awesome waves of His passion that can only be experienced when we venture out into waters over our heads.
The memory of that comment resurfaced today in the form of a question God posed to me: Do you understand the cost of the Incarnation?
Christians are (or should be) familiar with the basic theology of the Incarnation: Christ was born of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary. God became fully human. We recite it in our creeds, we read it in the Bible, and hear it from the pulpit. We proclaim Christ’s divinity and humanity based on the doctrine of the Incarnation. But do we really understand the price the Son of God paid when He became the Son of Man?
I must confess, this morning during my prayer time, it occurred to me I did not. As I prayed, I wondered if indeed it was even possible in this life to fully comprehend the depth of sacrifice Jesus made when He stepped out of eternity and into time.
In The Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis wrote, “… the higher a thing is, the lower it can descend—man can sympathize with a horse but a horse cannot sympathize with a rat.” I believe it was also C. S. Lewis who observed that it is barely within the capacity of humans to understand how amazing an act of condescension it would be for a man to become a lower creature. It is one to thing to have a level of consciousness that enables one to sympathize with a lesser creature, such as a rat, it is entirely another to actually become one and experience all that rats experience, having left the lofty realm of humanness and all that entails.
We can only imagine the possibility, since no man has ever emptied himself of all his natural attributes, retaining only the knowledge that he is still in essence a man, and taken the likeness and consciousness of a lower creature—to be both that lower life form and man. Even though the chasm between man and rat is incredibly broad, the analogy falls short because humans and rats still share a common bond: they are both created beings. The analogy cannot begin to express the magnitude of the condescension of the Creator in becoming the creature.
It is the mystery of the Incarnation: God becoming one of His creatures, yet still being God in essence. What Jesus left behind when He condescended to the level of a dividing cell in Mary’s womb is what I have never fully appreciated, and I say that to my sorrow, because the sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf began long before the cross.
The entire seventeenth chapter of the Gospel of John records the last time Jesus prayed with His disciples before His crucifixion. Next to the anguished prayer in Gethsemane, it is probably the most passionate prayer ever uttered, and He prayed it not only for the small band of men gathered around Him, but also for us:
“And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was… Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may also be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world (v. 5, 24).”
The inclusion of that request in His prayer reveals His desire that we understand the level from which He had descended to walk among humanity. He had willingly left the Father’s presence in a place of grandeur and glory beyond human imagining, and emptied Himself of the attributes that made Him God.
In Philippians 2:6-11, Paul attempts to describe the depth Jesus’ sacrifice through the Incarnation:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore, God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.
He made Himself nothing. The All in All, the Alpha and Omega, the Almighty became a creature, a lowly servant, and willingly bore the cross—our cross, our sin, our shame. The question still reverberates: do I understand the cost of the Incarnation?
I will enjoy the Christmas season. I will probably overeat, spend a little too much, and observe all the traditions, sacred and silly. But there will be a silent prayer offered continually from my heart: that I would grow beyond sentimentality and press deeper into the heart of God where emotions are transformed and become holy.
Moses prayed to see God’s glory, and God granted his request, but only gave him a glimpse. He covered Moses’ eyes with His hand as He passed telling him, “you cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me and live.” But Jesus is the face of God, and we are commanded to focus our attention and our hope in Him. The hand of God no longer blocks our view, only our own hands cast up in fear, shame, or ignorance.
It may well be that before “the mortal is clothed with immortality,” my vision will be obscured for countless reasons. But His prayer will ultimately be answered. Until that day, like Paul, I will seek to grasp the width and length and depth and height of His love—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, the love that compelled the Incarnation—and to truly understand His incredible Christmas gift.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Now Thank We all Our God
It’s Thanksgiving and I will be doing all the Thanksgiving family traditions, going to my sister’s house bringing along a variety of foods I’ve prepared for dinner. We meet there every year because she has the room to feed all of us. I slept in, taking advantage of the day off. But this day is set aside for more than sleeping, eating and football. It’s a day to gather together and remember all the goodness we have been blessed with throughout the past year.
We can all tick off the ways we’ve been blessed, but in doing so, we’d forget some of the gifts God has bestowed on us, there being so many, and we’d miss some entirely because we never knew of them. God’s blessings are sometimes unseen. The unknown accident that might have befallen us were it not for divine intervention, the chance meeting of an old friend, the illness we did not contract because of God’s protection. But I will attempt to name just a few of things I am grateful for today:
I am thankful for the love of family; for a loving husband and the blessing of a godly son; for love of faithful friends who have loved me through tough times and laughed with me in the good. I am blessed with good health and a good job. I have a house, that though humble, is nevertheless more than most people in the world have. I am not wealthy, yet I am able to pay my bills and have a little extra after they are paid. I am able to pay for medicines because I am able to afford health insurance. I live in a land with abundant food. I have clean water to drink. Countless people do not. I live in a nation that is free of civil strife and armed warfare. I have been gifted by God to do his will with writing and music, for that I am thankful. I did nothing to earn it, he just gave it.
And what I think most other Christians would say, I am most thankful for the love of God that caused him to send his Son into the world that we might be saved and have eternal life. I rejoice this day that I have had my spiritual debt paid in full, not of my own doing, but by the blood of Jesus. All other blessings are icing on the cake, so to speak.
I pray that your Thanksgiving be a day of rejoicing as you recall to mind all the goodness the Lord has poured out on you. The list is endless, but we have eternity to praise him for each one. Amen!
We can all tick off the ways we’ve been blessed, but in doing so, we’d forget some of the gifts God has bestowed on us, there being so many, and we’d miss some entirely because we never knew of them. God’s blessings are sometimes unseen. The unknown accident that might have befallen us were it not for divine intervention, the chance meeting of an old friend, the illness we did not contract because of God’s protection. But I will attempt to name just a few of things I am grateful for today:
I am thankful for the love of family; for a loving husband and the blessing of a godly son; for love of faithful friends who have loved me through tough times and laughed with me in the good. I am blessed with good health and a good job. I have a house, that though humble, is nevertheless more than most people in the world have. I am not wealthy, yet I am able to pay my bills and have a little extra after they are paid. I am able to pay for medicines because I am able to afford health insurance. I live in a land with abundant food. I have clean water to drink. Countless people do not. I live in a nation that is free of civil strife and armed warfare. I have been gifted by God to do his will with writing and music, for that I am thankful. I did nothing to earn it, he just gave it.
And what I think most other Christians would say, I am most thankful for the love of God that caused him to send his Son into the world that we might be saved and have eternal life. I rejoice this day that I have had my spiritual debt paid in full, not of my own doing, but by the blood of Jesus. All other blessings are icing on the cake, so to speak.
I pray that your Thanksgiving be a day of rejoicing as you recall to mind all the goodness the Lord has poured out on you. The list is endless, but we have eternity to praise him for each one. Amen!
Friday, November 21, 2008
All is Not Lost
It sometimes seems like I am a loser. Not in a game sense, or in a worthwhile sense. I mean there are times when I experience loss and it hurts. We all face losses throughout life. Loss of jobs, finances, health, and most painful of all, relationships with those we love most. Lately, it feels as though I have been the loser, and it’s painful.
In the past few months I’ve had to deal with loss as my only child went off to college on the east coast and that means very rarely ever seeing him. It’s not been easy to live without his presence, his laughter, and yes, even his grumblings, though they were few. Although I knew he would grow up and move out, I still wasn’t prepared for the sense of loss I have felt.
I am facing the potential loss of my longtime canine companion. He’s quite old now and his health is rapidly deteriorating. I know there are those who do not understand how people can get so wrapped up in their pets, but I will feel the loss keenly when he breathes his last which may be sooner than I had hoped. I will be expecting a wagging tail and wet nose to greet me when I come home, and he will not be there, and yes, I will cry.
But another painful loss is that of a dear friend. She is moving to the southeast and like the circumstance with my son I will rarely have the opportunity to see her now. It will feel like she’s a million miles away, and though I know we will continue to communicate, I will miss her being nearby. I already feel the loss of her presence, and it hurts.
I have to stop and ask myself where God is in all the loss we experience. To be honest, I question him at times because of it. I know we are just sojourners in this world, and we have been warned that all things of this life are temporary, but that impermanence can break hearts and leave us grieving. It seems to be the human condition. We have lived with loss ever since the first one in the garden.
I forget that God feels loss as well, more than we can understand. The paradox of knowing he doesn’t need us, yet he doesn’t want to be without us. A sense of loss that compelled him to send his Son to reclaim those lost to him. It’s what causes him to extend grace so we can know what we, too, have lost relationally with God, to comprehend in our limited capacity how great the loss was when we sinned. Without grace, we can never understand how much we stand to lose if we neglect the free gift of salvation.
He understands our other losses, too, and although I am no theologian, I can’t help but think he redraws the lines of our lives to keep us moving closer to him. He takes no pleasure in our sorrows and losses, but he will use them to transform us. He will use brokenness to strengthen us, and will turn our losses into gains.
As I write this, it doesn’t make the pain of loss lessen. And the old adage of “time heals all wounds” is a crock. Loss hurts and it always will until Jesus returns and all tears are wiped away. But even though knowing all things are temporary is painful, knowing all things are temporary is also a gift of grace. For Paul says he counts all things as loss save the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
One day, I will be forever with those I love. There no distance will impede presence and joy. Until then, I will live with the losses and the tears and know that God will restore all to what he had envisioned for us at creation. I will thank him for the love I have experienced through those he has placed in my life, those near and those far. And I will try to remember that losses are only for a season, even though they might be painful. God’s restoration will make all things new.
While we await the fullness of the promise, God will hold our hearts, minds and spirits close to him, and grieve our losses with us. And the Spirit will remind us once again that Christ lost all for us so we could gain all in him.
In the past few months I’ve had to deal with loss as my only child went off to college on the east coast and that means very rarely ever seeing him. It’s not been easy to live without his presence, his laughter, and yes, even his grumblings, though they were few. Although I knew he would grow up and move out, I still wasn’t prepared for the sense of loss I have felt.
I am facing the potential loss of my longtime canine companion. He’s quite old now and his health is rapidly deteriorating. I know there are those who do not understand how people can get so wrapped up in their pets, but I will feel the loss keenly when he breathes his last which may be sooner than I had hoped. I will be expecting a wagging tail and wet nose to greet me when I come home, and he will not be there, and yes, I will cry.
But another painful loss is that of a dear friend. She is moving to the southeast and like the circumstance with my son I will rarely have the opportunity to see her now. It will feel like she’s a million miles away, and though I know we will continue to communicate, I will miss her being nearby. I already feel the loss of her presence, and it hurts.
I have to stop and ask myself where God is in all the loss we experience. To be honest, I question him at times because of it. I know we are just sojourners in this world, and we have been warned that all things of this life are temporary, but that impermanence can break hearts and leave us grieving. It seems to be the human condition. We have lived with loss ever since the first one in the garden.
I forget that God feels loss as well, more than we can understand. The paradox of knowing he doesn’t need us, yet he doesn’t want to be without us. A sense of loss that compelled him to send his Son to reclaim those lost to him. It’s what causes him to extend grace so we can know what we, too, have lost relationally with God, to comprehend in our limited capacity how great the loss was when we sinned. Without grace, we can never understand how much we stand to lose if we neglect the free gift of salvation.
He understands our other losses, too, and although I am no theologian, I can’t help but think he redraws the lines of our lives to keep us moving closer to him. He takes no pleasure in our sorrows and losses, but he will use them to transform us. He will use brokenness to strengthen us, and will turn our losses into gains.
As I write this, it doesn’t make the pain of loss lessen. And the old adage of “time heals all wounds” is a crock. Loss hurts and it always will until Jesus returns and all tears are wiped away. But even though knowing all things are temporary is painful, knowing all things are temporary is also a gift of grace. For Paul says he counts all things as loss save the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
One day, I will be forever with those I love. There no distance will impede presence and joy. Until then, I will live with the losses and the tears and know that God will restore all to what he had envisioned for us at creation. I will thank him for the love I have experienced through those he has placed in my life, those near and those far. And I will try to remember that losses are only for a season, even though they might be painful. God’s restoration will make all things new.
While we await the fullness of the promise, God will hold our hearts, minds and spirits close to him, and grieve our losses with us. And the Spirit will remind us once again that Christ lost all for us so we could gain all in him.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Times are in God's Hands
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists authority resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment…For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, busy with this very thing. Pay to all what is due them—taxes to whom taxes are due, revenue to whom revenue is due, respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due. (Romans 13:1-2; 6-7)
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all who are in high positions, so that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity. (1Tim. 2:1-2)
The election process is finally over. It has been a long, strange journey, filled with ground-breaking surprises, highs and lows. We have awakened this morning to a new president-elect and I know I am not alone in wondering what this means for our nation. Things were going change regardless of who was elected. Now we wait to see what will come of this decision by the citizens who voted.
Scripture makes clear that all authority is from God. We have as our president the one appointed for this time. For those who supported the candidate who lost, it might be a time of disappointment and concern for the direction of our country. But God is in control and we are to entrust all things to his keeping, including our leaders and nation. Scripture says we are to pray for our leaders so we can go freely about kingdom business. This is what I will do. My pastor often says, “It will be what it will be.” Wise words. Not fatalistic, just true. We do not always understand what God is doing. He chooses to keep things veiled from us sometimes. Our job as believers is to trust and obey as the old hymn says. We are to pray for our leaders and render to them what is due. Regardless of how you voted, this is what God commands.
Pray for our new President. Pray for our Congress. Pray for our Governor, and for all who are in positions of authority. Pray for our nation, that godly men and women would work for justice and peace. And pray that as believers, we would seize every opportunity to spread the gospel whether circumstances are favorable or not (2 Tim. 4:2). And be thankful that we live in a nation where power changes hands in a peaceful, orderly manner and that we can exercise our faith openly. We are doubly blessed.
Regardless of how you voted, the times are in God’s hands. Leave to him what the future holds and be faithful to do as he commands: trust and pray. This is the will of God for all who are called. It is our witness.
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all who are in high positions, so that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity. (1Tim. 2:1-2)
The election process is finally over. It has been a long, strange journey, filled with ground-breaking surprises, highs and lows. We have awakened this morning to a new president-elect and I know I am not alone in wondering what this means for our nation. Things were going change regardless of who was elected. Now we wait to see what will come of this decision by the citizens who voted.
Scripture makes clear that all authority is from God. We have as our president the one appointed for this time. For those who supported the candidate who lost, it might be a time of disappointment and concern for the direction of our country. But God is in control and we are to entrust all things to his keeping, including our leaders and nation. Scripture says we are to pray for our leaders so we can go freely about kingdom business. This is what I will do. My pastor often says, “It will be what it will be.” Wise words. Not fatalistic, just true. We do not always understand what God is doing. He chooses to keep things veiled from us sometimes. Our job as believers is to trust and obey as the old hymn says. We are to pray for our leaders and render to them what is due. Regardless of how you voted, this is what God commands.
Pray for our new President. Pray for our Congress. Pray for our Governor, and for all who are in positions of authority. Pray for our nation, that godly men and women would work for justice and peace. And pray that as believers, we would seize every opportunity to spread the gospel whether circumstances are favorable or not (2 Tim. 4:2). And be thankful that we live in a nation where power changes hands in a peaceful, orderly manner and that we can exercise our faith openly. We are doubly blessed.
Regardless of how you voted, the times are in God’s hands. Leave to him what the future holds and be faithful to do as he commands: trust and pray. This is the will of God for all who are called. It is our witness.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Discipline of Prayer
It’s been a long time since I last posted. My goal had been to post once a week. I managed that the first couple months, but have had a case of writer’s block for an extended period. It’s frustrating to sit down in front of the computer, hands poised over the keyboard and nothing happen. The fact is writing is as much a discipline as it is an art. I have not been faithful to write something daily, anything.
Prayer and reading the Bible can be like that, at least for me. Please tell me I am not alone in this. I have periods of zeal, reading daily, praying frequently throughout the day. Then, for inexplicable reasons, I fall off the wagon and go into a time of drought and the temptation is to just stop. But prayer and reading God’s word is as much a discipline as it is a joy. We go through dry spells for reasons that only God knows, but I will venture a guess that it is sometimes a period of testing to see if we will be faithful even when we don’t feel like it.
I am a person of passion. My emotions are often quite near the surface and I will go up and down without the ability to put on the brakes at times even with medication. It’s the bipolar disorder. God knows that and extends grace to me so that even when my mind is racing with the hypomania or is overwhelmed with feelings associated with depression, he can hear my broken efforts to connect with him, the whispered prayers of only a couple words. The Holy Spirit takes them to the throne and makes them acceptable before the Father. And I know Jesus is my Advocate and prays for me when I cannot. God has it all under control. Knowing that is a reminder that I need to pray no matter what, that I need to pick up the Bible and read something, anything.
Whatever your feelings on any given day, God understands and waits for you to come before him. He is compassionate in the times of drought, the valleys, and he delights in the times of mountain top passion and zeal. But through it all, he loves you, no matter what. The simplest prayers are just as important to him as the lengthier times spent praying for the world. Dry times come, but they also don’t last. The discipline of continuing to pray for others and ourselves, of picking up the Bible and reading perhaps a Psalm to give comfort and direction can make all the difference when the zeal is simply not there.
Whether you feel like it or not, take a moment right now to thank God for something, anything and pray for at least one person you know has a need. Then ask him for the grace to develop the discipline of prayer and reading the Word, no matter your emotional state, no matter where you are on your spiritual journey. It is a request he will answer with a yes.
Prayer and reading the Bible can be like that, at least for me. Please tell me I am not alone in this. I have periods of zeal, reading daily, praying frequently throughout the day. Then, for inexplicable reasons, I fall off the wagon and go into a time of drought and the temptation is to just stop. But prayer and reading God’s word is as much a discipline as it is a joy. We go through dry spells for reasons that only God knows, but I will venture a guess that it is sometimes a period of testing to see if we will be faithful even when we don’t feel like it.
I am a person of passion. My emotions are often quite near the surface and I will go up and down without the ability to put on the brakes at times even with medication. It’s the bipolar disorder. God knows that and extends grace to me so that even when my mind is racing with the hypomania or is overwhelmed with feelings associated with depression, he can hear my broken efforts to connect with him, the whispered prayers of only a couple words. The Holy Spirit takes them to the throne and makes them acceptable before the Father. And I know Jesus is my Advocate and prays for me when I cannot. God has it all under control. Knowing that is a reminder that I need to pray no matter what, that I need to pick up the Bible and read something, anything.
Whatever your feelings on any given day, God understands and waits for you to come before him. He is compassionate in the times of drought, the valleys, and he delights in the times of mountain top passion and zeal. But through it all, he loves you, no matter what. The simplest prayers are just as important to him as the lengthier times spent praying for the world. Dry times come, but they also don’t last. The discipline of continuing to pray for others and ourselves, of picking up the Bible and reading perhaps a Psalm to give comfort and direction can make all the difference when the zeal is simply not there.
Whether you feel like it or not, take a moment right now to thank God for something, anything and pray for at least one person you know has a need. Then ask him for the grace to develop the discipline of prayer and reading the Word, no matter your emotional state, no matter where you are on your spiritual journey. It is a request he will answer with a yes.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Time for Everything Under the Sun
The last two weeks of my life have been some of the roughest weeks I’ve ever had. Since my son left for West Point, I have been through the wringer. The whole “my baby is leaving home” thing is very, very hard. But add to that the whole military thing and I’ve been a basket case. Not knowing how he is doing has been one of the hardest times as a mom I have ever experienced.
A letter finally came, written a week after he got there. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t reasonable for me to expect something sooner from an 18 year old, but I was sick with worry and the blackout was unbearable. My greatest fears have been temporarily allayed somewhat by the news that he is doing fine, all things considered. But I know the next four years, should he decide to stay, will be up and down for him, for his father, for me.
The letter is like gold. It is a simple, quick one page note that gives a brief outline of how his days are going, and asking for things that he needs. I have read it over and over. I don’t know if I think I’ll find something else in it, but I read as though it were new each time. The part that moves me the most is near the end of the letter. Just one sentence:“I found a new faith home here, and I might try to join the Praise Team for the Protestant service.”
God is at work in his heart and mind. Away from home, on his own and he goes to chapel without being dragged out of bed. He could just sleep in Sunday mornings. They allow that for those who choose not to go to Sunday services, but he has chosen to seek out other Christians and to feed on the Word. The only book he took with him was his bible. In it, when he has a moment or two, he will find the strength and courage he needs to succeed in the task that lies before him.
He believes in what he is doing. How could I believe any differently? I believe in his abilities, his drive and his passions, just as I believe in God’s. My son is becoming a man, if not right before my eyes, at least in his letters that will follow and the phone calls that will be made. There will be rough times, times of questioning, but God is faithful and in the end he will make his plan come to fruition, whatever that may be. As the bible says, there is a time for everything. This is a time of change, of upheaval. God is in it when all is said and done. In that truth is comfort.
A letter finally came, written a week after he got there. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t reasonable for me to expect something sooner from an 18 year old, but I was sick with worry and the blackout was unbearable. My greatest fears have been temporarily allayed somewhat by the news that he is doing fine, all things considered. But I know the next four years, should he decide to stay, will be up and down for him, for his father, for me.
The letter is like gold. It is a simple, quick one page note that gives a brief outline of how his days are going, and asking for things that he needs. I have read it over and over. I don’t know if I think I’ll find something else in it, but I read as though it were new each time. The part that moves me the most is near the end of the letter. Just one sentence:“I found a new faith home here, and I might try to join the Praise Team for the Protestant service.”
God is at work in his heart and mind. Away from home, on his own and he goes to chapel without being dragged out of bed. He could just sleep in Sunday mornings. They allow that for those who choose not to go to Sunday services, but he has chosen to seek out other Christians and to feed on the Word. The only book he took with him was his bible. In it, when he has a moment or two, he will find the strength and courage he needs to succeed in the task that lies before him.
He believes in what he is doing. How could I believe any differently? I believe in his abilities, his drive and his passions, just as I believe in God’s. My son is becoming a man, if not right before my eyes, at least in his letters that will follow and the phone calls that will be made. There will be rough times, times of questioning, but God is faithful and in the end he will make his plan come to fruition, whatever that may be. As the bible says, there is a time for everything. This is a time of change, of upheaval. God is in it when all is said and done. In that truth is comfort.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Time Marches On
I want to say up front that this is not an uplifting bit of writing. Blogs are just public journals, so I write what I know and it may or may not strike a chord in the reader. What I write might make you laugh or cry, become angry or be contemplative. It is what it is.
I looked at myself in the mirror a bit closer this morning. I was dismayed by what I saw. Time has marched on all over my face. Crows feet extending out from my eyes, laugh/frown lines around my mouth, and sagging cheeks. My neck is lined and loose.
It’s strange how we really don’t notice the signs of aging. I don’t understand the whole aging process. It creeps up slowly until one day we wake up and realize we can’t do the things we did when we were younger. Parts sag, joints complain, eyes strain, backs hurt. But today it’s as though this were a flash news item: “Susan is older!”
There is a sadness to it. Somehow, as my son was growing up, youth was slipping away from me and I simply ignored the signs. He kept me young, or at least kept me lively. I had to keep up with his endless energy, the little legs that ran from one place to another. As he grew, his energy turned to other endeavors, but I still kept pace. Now that he has left for college, I find my energy has flagged. There isn’t the needed drive to keep running with him. I’ve hit a wall.
It’s always been a shock to me when I watch old movies, seeing actors in their prime, then see them as they are today. I see it when I look at my mother. She just got old. I wonder how it happened and wonder why it’s happening to me. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ve always known that people get old and die, but somehow I guess I thought I would escape. I grew up in the generation that said you should not trust anyone over 30, the generation that would stay young forever. Well, I’m way over 50 so I guess am not trustworthy anymore and the prospect of endless youth has turned out to be a bust.
The old newsreels that once played in movie theaters were entitled “Time Marches On.” Indeed it does. It waits for no one. I wonder what my sons thinks when he looks at me, as he remembers me from his childhood. It’s been a gradual process so it may not have been that noticeable, but when he comes home for break, he may notice for the first time that his father and I look older than he remembers.
It would be painfully, deeply and endlessly depressing were it not for the God factor. He said we would return to dust, but added a promise to it, that we would be resurrected with new bodies that would never age and break down again. I don’t claim to understand his plan. It is what it is. He knows what he’s doing, and allowing us to grow older and weaker is what makes us yearn for something more, something better—the something that he has planned for us.
Life gives and takes. But God is in the midst of all of it. There is a plan for every stage and age. Though our steps may falter as we grow older and circumstances change, he guides us and prepares us for what is yet to come, the better life, the life spent with him, forever young and forever loved.
Though I have a body that is slowly dying, I also am aware of the hope that is eternal. I know that I have a future, that all who put their faith in Christ have a future that is beyond our comprehension. Getting older is not a hopeless and futile end, it is just another phase of this temporary time in our existence. God has something better in store and that is what I will try to remember when I next look in the mirror.
I looked at myself in the mirror a bit closer this morning. I was dismayed by what I saw. Time has marched on all over my face. Crows feet extending out from my eyes, laugh/frown lines around my mouth, and sagging cheeks. My neck is lined and loose.
It’s strange how we really don’t notice the signs of aging. I don’t understand the whole aging process. It creeps up slowly until one day we wake up and realize we can’t do the things we did when we were younger. Parts sag, joints complain, eyes strain, backs hurt. But today it’s as though this were a flash news item: “Susan is older!”
There is a sadness to it. Somehow, as my son was growing up, youth was slipping away from me and I simply ignored the signs. He kept me young, or at least kept me lively. I had to keep up with his endless energy, the little legs that ran from one place to another. As he grew, his energy turned to other endeavors, but I still kept pace. Now that he has left for college, I find my energy has flagged. There isn’t the needed drive to keep running with him. I’ve hit a wall.
It’s always been a shock to me when I watch old movies, seeing actors in their prime, then see them as they are today. I see it when I look at my mother. She just got old. I wonder how it happened and wonder why it’s happening to me. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ve always known that people get old and die, but somehow I guess I thought I would escape. I grew up in the generation that said you should not trust anyone over 30, the generation that would stay young forever. Well, I’m way over 50 so I guess am not trustworthy anymore and the prospect of endless youth has turned out to be a bust.
The old newsreels that once played in movie theaters were entitled “Time Marches On.” Indeed it does. It waits for no one. I wonder what my sons thinks when he looks at me, as he remembers me from his childhood. It’s been a gradual process so it may not have been that noticeable, but when he comes home for break, he may notice for the first time that his father and I look older than he remembers.
It would be painfully, deeply and endlessly depressing were it not for the God factor. He said we would return to dust, but added a promise to it, that we would be resurrected with new bodies that would never age and break down again. I don’t claim to understand his plan. It is what it is. He knows what he’s doing, and allowing us to grow older and weaker is what makes us yearn for something more, something better—the something that he has planned for us.
Life gives and takes. But God is in the midst of all of it. There is a plan for every stage and age. Though our steps may falter as we grow older and circumstances change, he guides us and prepares us for what is yet to come, the better life, the life spent with him, forever young and forever loved.
Though I have a body that is slowly dying, I also am aware of the hope that is eternal. I know that I have a future, that all who put their faith in Christ have a future that is beyond our comprehension. Getting older is not a hopeless and futile end, it is just another phase of this temporary time in our existence. God has something better in store and that is what I will try to remember when I next look in the mirror.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Learning It's Okay
This past week I’ve been sick. Nothing major, but enough to make me feel really crummy and drive me to my bed. It took me several days of being ill to finally get bed rest, and I got there only after the worst had passed and I was talked into it. In the meantime, while I was feeling the brunt of the symptoms, I was at work, trying to do my job because I could not give myself permission to stay home.
I don’t know if anyone else feels like I do, but taking sick days is almost impossible for me. Not because my job or boss makes it difficult, but because I make it hard on myself. I always feel guilty that I am sick, as though I had anything to do with making it happen. Rather than seeing it as an unfortunate occurrence that temporarily interrupts my life and being grateful that I have sick leave as a part of my job benefits package, I feel I have to make excuses for my behavior. Some will think that weird, but there it is. It’s as though my being sick is a sin.
In truth, I consider using sick days as a sign of weakness on my part. I should be able to muscle through anything and continue to do my job well. So if I cannot carry on, I come under a boatload of guilt—guilt because I have failed.
I’m not completely sure how those guilty feelings developed, but I do know that my father rarely stayed home due to illness and I almost never saw my mother sick. They kept going. My father was a military man and my mother had to run a household, corralling three children on her own while he was away on various missions. There was no time to be sick. Lest anyone misconstrue, I am not blaming, just making an observation and trying to work through possibilities.
A good and honest friend pointed out to me that I really am not indispensable (ouch!) and that it was up to my employer to figure out how to carry on at the job without me. That I am not indispensable to the praise team I am a part of at my church and they would figure out how to do without me if I was sick. I have a harder time with that one.
Somehow I’ve got to get past the guilty feelings and give myself permission to rest when I need to and not see myself as weak for it. Jesus had to rest from time to time and he recognized that his disciples did too. When Peter’s mother was ill she was in bed, not trying to carry on. It wasn’t until Jesus healed her that she was able to get up and go about her chores. She must have given herself permission to rest even though Peter had brought the disciples over for dinner.
I need to take myself less seriously and relax a bit more. I would imagine there are a lot of Christians who need to do that as well. I don’t want to be a slacker, but I do need to learn to recognize the symptoms of overdoing it (and working sick is overdoing it), and take a break. Believe me, I have built up a lot of sick leave.
Remind me about this next time I am sick.
I don’t know if anyone else feels like I do, but taking sick days is almost impossible for me. Not because my job or boss makes it difficult, but because I make it hard on myself. I always feel guilty that I am sick, as though I had anything to do with making it happen. Rather than seeing it as an unfortunate occurrence that temporarily interrupts my life and being grateful that I have sick leave as a part of my job benefits package, I feel I have to make excuses for my behavior. Some will think that weird, but there it is. It’s as though my being sick is a sin.
In truth, I consider using sick days as a sign of weakness on my part. I should be able to muscle through anything and continue to do my job well. So if I cannot carry on, I come under a boatload of guilt—guilt because I have failed.
I’m not completely sure how those guilty feelings developed, but I do know that my father rarely stayed home due to illness and I almost never saw my mother sick. They kept going. My father was a military man and my mother had to run a household, corralling three children on her own while he was away on various missions. There was no time to be sick. Lest anyone misconstrue, I am not blaming, just making an observation and trying to work through possibilities.
A good and honest friend pointed out to me that I really am not indispensable (ouch!) and that it was up to my employer to figure out how to carry on at the job without me. That I am not indispensable to the praise team I am a part of at my church and they would figure out how to do without me if I was sick. I have a harder time with that one.
Somehow I’ve got to get past the guilty feelings and give myself permission to rest when I need to and not see myself as weak for it. Jesus had to rest from time to time and he recognized that his disciples did too. When Peter’s mother was ill she was in bed, not trying to carry on. It wasn’t until Jesus healed her that she was able to get up and go about her chores. She must have given herself permission to rest even though Peter had brought the disciples over for dinner.
I need to take myself less seriously and relax a bit more. I would imagine there are a lot of Christians who need to do that as well. I don’t want to be a slacker, but I do need to learn to recognize the symptoms of overdoing it (and working sick is overdoing it), and take a break. Believe me, I have built up a lot of sick leave.
Remind me about this next time I am sick.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Always Remember
Today is Memorial Day. A day our country sets aside to honor those who have served our country in the military who are no longer with us. Grave sites across the US have been decorated with the flag to recognize the final resting places of servicemen and women.
My father is buried in the national cemetery at Fort Leavenworth. I remember the interment like it was yesterday. In honor of him and all those who have served our nation, I am repeating a tribute that I wrote after his burial. This is for all who served our nation, and for loved ones who rest in the Lord:
I buried my father today.
It was a long silent drive to the Fort Leavenworth National Cemetery. I had hoped the weather would cooperate, and it did, though there is something unsettling about placing a loved one in cold ground while the sun beams on.
An Air Force Honor Guard stood in formation as we took our places. With much solemnity they carefully unfolded and refolded a flag over the small wooden box that held the ashes of a man who had lived eighty-four years, twenty-five of which were in uniform. Those ashes were the only physical remains of a man who kept covenant with one woman for fifty-seven years, reared three children, and delighted in the exploits and successes of nine grandchildren. It was hard to imagine his 5’10” two hundred pound frame in a box that was smaller than most laptops.
Each motion of the flag ceremony was executed with precision. When the final fold was neatly tucked into place, the guard marched in line to a row of rifles. I knew what was coming, but I could not help the involuntary jerk that came with each report. The twenty-one gun salute: An honor reserved for those who have served with distinction. Slowly, the head of the Honor Guard approached my mother with the flag and spoke quiet words no one wants to hear: “On behalf of a grateful nation…”
I don’t know what the Airmen in the Honor Guard thought. They do this routinely. It’s their job. Another World War II veteran dies, another ceremony. Maybe they think it’s just another old codger to bury. I don’t know. I only know that afterwards, when I went to thank them, and told them, with tears, how much it meant to our family that they had come to honor my father, one of them reached out and shook my hand. It was a simple offer of sympathy and regard for our loss. I walked away hoping they understood that what they do matters very much.
A small box doesn’t require a large hole. The hole for my father was much like the hole one would dig for a fence post, only rectangular. An attendant of the cemetery placed the box gently in the grave. My mother laid a single rose, my father’s favorite flower, atop the box. She then tossed in some dirt. My sister and I chose to do the same. As the hole was filled, my mother, sister, brother, and I stood together watching the last of a lifelong relationship being buried. My father’s resting place is under a tree. As I lifted my eyes, I could see he was not alone. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of markers surround him, each representing a soldier, sailor, or airman. It was at once breath-taking and grieving.
The pain will come and go in waves. That’s the professional stance on the grief process. Gradually, it will get better. I believe that. But even with the intellectual foreknowledge we had of his impending death, the heart is still shocked to believe he is never coming home from the hospital. In my heart, I thought my parents would always be there. That childish hope has been shattered by the blunt reality of a marker in a cemetery.
As I write this, I feel the loss deeply, and it makes me want to shut out the world. I can’t begin to fathom what my mother must feel. Yet, I know, as does she, that this is how it must be. God said to Adam, “From dust you were taken and to dust you shall return.” Those words would instill utter hopelessness, were it not for the hope of the resurrection; were it not for the Cross and the Blood of the Lamb that was poured out for my father, my mother, my family, for me—for everyone who trusts in the gift of the Lord’s salvation.
The pain goes with the territory of life in a fallen world. Perhaps that is one of the motivators for seeking meaning and a Something greater outside ourselves and this world. For now, in the pain of loss, I can rejoice because I know the sum of one man’s life does not reside in a small box of ashes buried in the ground. The sum of my father’s life is in the countless people he touched, the lives he enriched. The Lord has kept an account, and I know he heard the words everyone wants to hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant…”
My father is buried in the national cemetery at Fort Leavenworth. I remember the interment like it was yesterday. In honor of him and all those who have served our nation, I am repeating a tribute that I wrote after his burial. This is for all who served our nation, and for loved ones who rest in the Lord:
I buried my father today.
It was a long silent drive to the Fort Leavenworth National Cemetery. I had hoped the weather would cooperate, and it did, though there is something unsettling about placing a loved one in cold ground while the sun beams on.
An Air Force Honor Guard stood in formation as we took our places. With much solemnity they carefully unfolded and refolded a flag over the small wooden box that held the ashes of a man who had lived eighty-four years, twenty-five of which were in uniform. Those ashes were the only physical remains of a man who kept covenant with one woman for fifty-seven years, reared three children, and delighted in the exploits and successes of nine grandchildren. It was hard to imagine his 5’10” two hundred pound frame in a box that was smaller than most laptops.
Each motion of the flag ceremony was executed with precision. When the final fold was neatly tucked into place, the guard marched in line to a row of rifles. I knew what was coming, but I could not help the involuntary jerk that came with each report. The twenty-one gun salute: An honor reserved for those who have served with distinction. Slowly, the head of the Honor Guard approached my mother with the flag and spoke quiet words no one wants to hear: “On behalf of a grateful nation…”
I don’t know what the Airmen in the Honor Guard thought. They do this routinely. It’s their job. Another World War II veteran dies, another ceremony. Maybe they think it’s just another old codger to bury. I don’t know. I only know that afterwards, when I went to thank them, and told them, with tears, how much it meant to our family that they had come to honor my father, one of them reached out and shook my hand. It was a simple offer of sympathy and regard for our loss. I walked away hoping they understood that what they do matters very much.
A small box doesn’t require a large hole. The hole for my father was much like the hole one would dig for a fence post, only rectangular. An attendant of the cemetery placed the box gently in the grave. My mother laid a single rose, my father’s favorite flower, atop the box. She then tossed in some dirt. My sister and I chose to do the same. As the hole was filled, my mother, sister, brother, and I stood together watching the last of a lifelong relationship being buried. My father’s resting place is under a tree. As I lifted my eyes, I could see he was not alone. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of markers surround him, each representing a soldier, sailor, or airman. It was at once breath-taking and grieving.
The pain will come and go in waves. That’s the professional stance on the grief process. Gradually, it will get better. I believe that. But even with the intellectual foreknowledge we had of his impending death, the heart is still shocked to believe he is never coming home from the hospital. In my heart, I thought my parents would always be there. That childish hope has been shattered by the blunt reality of a marker in a cemetery.
As I write this, I feel the loss deeply, and it makes me want to shut out the world. I can’t begin to fathom what my mother must feel. Yet, I know, as does she, that this is how it must be. God said to Adam, “From dust you were taken and to dust you shall return.” Those words would instill utter hopelessness, were it not for the hope of the resurrection; were it not for the Cross and the Blood of the Lamb that was poured out for my father, my mother, my family, for me—for everyone who trusts in the gift of the Lord’s salvation.
The pain goes with the territory of life in a fallen world. Perhaps that is one of the motivators for seeking meaning and a Something greater outside ourselves and this world. For now, in the pain of loss, I can rejoice because I know the sum of one man’s life does not reside in a small box of ashes buried in the ground. The sum of my father’s life is in the countless people he touched, the lives he enriched. The Lord has kept an account, and I know he heard the words everyone wants to hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant…”
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Milestones
My son is graduating from high school tomorrow. It is a huge milestone, but there have been milestones all along. There was kindergarten, when I first had to learn to let him go and trust that others would treat him well, knowing that he would have to learn how manage and to make friends in a strange place where he knew no one. I had to trust that God would take care of him in my absence. We survived that together.
Then there was grade school graduation, when all we had known for the past eight years was about to change radically. We had lived in a safe comfortable cocoon and now we were facing high school where, once again, my son would have to learn how to manage in a new and different setting and make friends where he knew no one. I had to learn to trust again that others would treat him well, and I had to trust God would take care of him in my absence.
Then came the driver’s license. That meant trusting him to make good and safe decisions, to not speed and drive recklessly. And to trust that those he rode with would also be good drivers. The overnights, the dates, the road trips—I had to trust God would take of him in my absence.
Four years have flown by and now my son is leaving the familiar halls of high school. He is leaving behind good friends, great teachers and experiences that have shaped his teenaged years. He will soon be heading off to West Point where all he has known will change dramatically. Once again, he will have to learn how to manage in a strange place and make friends where he knows no one. He will be challenged in ways he has never experienced, and no matter how much he has tried to prepare, it will be difficult.
To say I have mixed emotions is to understate how I feel. I have pride in his achievements throughout his elementary and secondary schooling. He has worked hard and reached goals that reflect his God given gifts. But like at every milestone in his life, I harbor a mother’s anxious thoughts. Will he be safe? Will he find good and godly friends? Will those who exercise authority over him be mindful of his well being? To put it in basic mother terms: who will take care of my little boy, the one I hugged and kissed; the one who I held when he cried from a skinned knee; the one I applauded at school plays and at every Christmas program, every concert; the one I prayed with, and played with.
He is a man now, but although I understand that, there is the part of me that says he will always be my baby, the one I labored to bring into this world, the one who was and is a gift from God.
Throughout his formative years, his father and I have done our best to teach him faith, to lead him to the relationship with Jesus he needs for salvation. I know he has faith and that is a source of comfort and assurance. But my mother’s heart aches knowing he will soon be beyond my care and protection. People talk about the benefits of an empty nest, but right now it rings hollow.
The day will be here faster than I want it to when we watch him board the plane that will take him to West Point leaving us for longer than he has ever been gone, even adding up all his time away from home up to this point. It will be through tears that I hug him before he goes, tears mixed with pride for who he is and hope for who he will become. I will encourage him in his effort to follow where God is leading, even as I ache for his leaving home. And, once again I will have to trust God to take care of him in my absence. It will be a milestone for me as well.
Then there was grade school graduation, when all we had known for the past eight years was about to change radically. We had lived in a safe comfortable cocoon and now we were facing high school where, once again, my son would have to learn how to manage in a new and different setting and make friends where he knew no one. I had to learn to trust again that others would treat him well, and I had to trust God would take care of him in my absence.
Then came the driver’s license. That meant trusting him to make good and safe decisions, to not speed and drive recklessly. And to trust that those he rode with would also be good drivers. The overnights, the dates, the road trips—I had to trust God would take of him in my absence.
Four years have flown by and now my son is leaving the familiar halls of high school. He is leaving behind good friends, great teachers and experiences that have shaped his teenaged years. He will soon be heading off to West Point where all he has known will change dramatically. Once again, he will have to learn how to manage in a strange place and make friends where he knows no one. He will be challenged in ways he has never experienced, and no matter how much he has tried to prepare, it will be difficult.
To say I have mixed emotions is to understate how I feel. I have pride in his achievements throughout his elementary and secondary schooling. He has worked hard and reached goals that reflect his God given gifts. But like at every milestone in his life, I harbor a mother’s anxious thoughts. Will he be safe? Will he find good and godly friends? Will those who exercise authority over him be mindful of his well being? To put it in basic mother terms: who will take care of my little boy, the one I hugged and kissed; the one who I held when he cried from a skinned knee; the one I applauded at school plays and at every Christmas program, every concert; the one I prayed with, and played with.
He is a man now, but although I understand that, there is the part of me that says he will always be my baby, the one I labored to bring into this world, the one who was and is a gift from God.
Throughout his formative years, his father and I have done our best to teach him faith, to lead him to the relationship with Jesus he needs for salvation. I know he has faith and that is a source of comfort and assurance. But my mother’s heart aches knowing he will soon be beyond my care and protection. People talk about the benefits of an empty nest, but right now it rings hollow.
The day will be here faster than I want it to when we watch him board the plane that will take him to West Point leaving us for longer than he has ever been gone, even adding up all his time away from home up to this point. It will be through tears that I hug him before he goes, tears mixed with pride for who he is and hope for who he will become. I will encourage him in his effort to follow where God is leading, even as I ache for his leaving home. And, once again I will have to trust God to take care of him in my absence. It will be a milestone for me as well.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Words That Wound
“You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn’t hurt at all” so an old song goes. How true those words are. I can be kind and patient with total strangers but sharp and irritable with loved ones. I can choose words carefully with my customers, yet be careless and thoughtless with the ones closest to me. It’s frustrating for me, and too often hurtful to the ones I love most.
Scripture makes it clear that God is love and those who love him will love others. The bible also says that if we cannot love the person we see, how can we love God whom we do not see? God wants me to love consistently, to behave in loving ways consistently. It’s not that I don’t love those I sometimes hurt, it’s that my actions and words do not always reflect God’s way of loving. So what do I do about that?
I can start with prayer. Taking my short fuse and hasty tendency with words to God in prayer can help me recognize the problem and allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. God’s grace leads to gracious words even when I am tired or stressed. Just becoming aware that I am acting less than loving with those closest to me will help me stop before I go too far.
The Book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom and warnings about our words and their impact on others. We reap what we speak. That is serious stuff. Yet I still too often fall short of living by that. I doubt that I am alone. James in his letter said the tongue was like a fire out of control and that the one who can master it is truly mature as a believer.
Words have power to wound or heal. To have that kind of power at my disposal is an awesome thing and not to be taken lightly. My hope is to learn to master my words and to own my speech as one who is mature in the faith, to respect and have grace in my language given freely to the ones I love most. To always keep a reserve of kind words for the people God has given me as family and friends. I don’t want to hurt the ones I love, the ones I shouldn’t hurt at all. If I live by that goal then God will make it happen in spite of my weaknesses.
Scripture makes it clear that God is love and those who love him will love others. The bible also says that if we cannot love the person we see, how can we love God whom we do not see? God wants me to love consistently, to behave in loving ways consistently. It’s not that I don’t love those I sometimes hurt, it’s that my actions and words do not always reflect God’s way of loving. So what do I do about that?
I can start with prayer. Taking my short fuse and hasty tendency with words to God in prayer can help me recognize the problem and allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. God’s grace leads to gracious words even when I am tired or stressed. Just becoming aware that I am acting less than loving with those closest to me will help me stop before I go too far.
The Book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom and warnings about our words and their impact on others. We reap what we speak. That is serious stuff. Yet I still too often fall short of living by that. I doubt that I am alone. James in his letter said the tongue was like a fire out of control and that the one who can master it is truly mature as a believer.
Words have power to wound or heal. To have that kind of power at my disposal is an awesome thing and not to be taken lightly. My hope is to learn to master my words and to own my speech as one who is mature in the faith, to respect and have grace in my language given freely to the ones I love most. To always keep a reserve of kind words for the people God has given me as family and friends. I don’t want to hurt the ones I love, the ones I shouldn’t hurt at all. If I live by that goal then God will make it happen in spite of my weaknesses.
Friday, April 25, 2008
God's grace is sufficient for all
I know people who can take things in stride. They are able to keep a handle on their emotions and stay steady for the most part, although everyone can be pushed only so far. But I will admit to being a very intense person. I try to maintain equilibrium, but often there are times I simply cannot reign in the strong emotions I experience. Most people do not know that I have a mental condition known as hypomania. It is a form of bipolar disorder. It’s a less severe form of it and can be managed with medications, for the most part. But I can still get over the top sometimes in spite of the medications I take to keep me level.
Why am I sharing this? Mainly because I know there are others who suffer silently from other mental conditions, such as depression, and most keep it a secret as if there was something very wrong about it. I know what that feels like. For a long time after my diagnosis, I told only a very few about it. I felt ashamed and defective as a person and somehow less of a Christian.
The church (universal) in general has failed to help those who suffer from mental illness. It’s simpler to call it sin and tell the sufferer that they lack faith in God or that they are unthankful and need to ask forgiveness and pray more. I have been in churches where that was taught and so the intense emotions I experienced, the euphoric highs and the suicidal lows were something I could not own up to and the very few I did share with told me how wrong it was to feel that way. I was a bad Christian, and that only made me feel worse about myself.
I cannot total the times I have prayed about it, asking God to heal me and getting no answer in return, all the while suffering in silence. Anger built and put a block between God and me. I still prayed for others but I had lost hope that he was going to answer prayer in regard to me. I stayed faithful in church attendance, but my relationship with God was one of “I have to do this” in nature. Not the way it should be, nor the way God wants it. But I could not get past the fact that he was not answering my pleas to be “normal”, and I slipped into a deep depression.
As is the nature of the hypomania, I would get out of depression and go to a high place, but again, afterwards slide down into a darker depression. It was a rollercoaster existence. All the while, I wondered why God was silent. Finally, out of desperation I sought medical help and was properly diagnosed and put on a drug regimen. It’s taken about three years to finally find the right meds and dosages to make life better for me and those around me. Throughout the process I was still angry with God because he wasn’t healing me. I argued with him and with others about it. But as I have leveled out, becoming able to think more clearly, I have begun to see that he is answering my prayer through medical intervention.
Paul had a bone to pick with God as well (2 Cor. 12). He pleaded several times to have a “thorn in his flesh” removed because it made life more difficult. God did not answer his plea the way he wanted. God told him, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. Paul’s response was that he would boast in his weakness so that the power of Christ would be fully revealed in him.
My need for medication to keep me grounded and focused is God’s way of telling me that his grace is sufficient for this thorn in my flesh. And since God does not shame his children, then my shame over having a mental illness is misguided. Do I intend to shout it from the roof? No, but I can share like I am now to give hope to someone who may need help and doesn’t know where to turn, or who is afraid to admit that they struggle with depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, or any other mental condition. It’s not sin; it’s a physical brain disorder in my case and for others a chemical imbalance that is treatable.
If the church could hear and listen to the hearts of those who struggle to keep in control, they might find compassion rather than fear or misunderstanding. Those who view mental health issues as weakness might be able rethink their position and see with God’s eyes the true nature of believers who are mentally ill, that they are beloved by him just as much as those who are “normal.”
I have stepped out of my comfort zone to say all this. It’s like hanging out the laundry for all to see. Yet I know that someone might find hope in my words and revelation. God does hear and answer prayer. We just don’t always see or expect the answers to come in the guise that they do. God is faithful and his grace is sufficient for all our needs and weaknesses. Grace, God’s grace is really all we need.
Why am I sharing this? Mainly because I know there are others who suffer silently from other mental conditions, such as depression, and most keep it a secret as if there was something very wrong about it. I know what that feels like. For a long time after my diagnosis, I told only a very few about it. I felt ashamed and defective as a person and somehow less of a Christian.
The church (universal) in general has failed to help those who suffer from mental illness. It’s simpler to call it sin and tell the sufferer that they lack faith in God or that they are unthankful and need to ask forgiveness and pray more. I have been in churches where that was taught and so the intense emotions I experienced, the euphoric highs and the suicidal lows were something I could not own up to and the very few I did share with told me how wrong it was to feel that way. I was a bad Christian, and that only made me feel worse about myself.
I cannot total the times I have prayed about it, asking God to heal me and getting no answer in return, all the while suffering in silence. Anger built and put a block between God and me. I still prayed for others but I had lost hope that he was going to answer prayer in regard to me. I stayed faithful in church attendance, but my relationship with God was one of “I have to do this” in nature. Not the way it should be, nor the way God wants it. But I could not get past the fact that he was not answering my pleas to be “normal”, and I slipped into a deep depression.
As is the nature of the hypomania, I would get out of depression and go to a high place, but again, afterwards slide down into a darker depression. It was a rollercoaster existence. All the while, I wondered why God was silent. Finally, out of desperation I sought medical help and was properly diagnosed and put on a drug regimen. It’s taken about three years to finally find the right meds and dosages to make life better for me and those around me. Throughout the process I was still angry with God because he wasn’t healing me. I argued with him and with others about it. But as I have leveled out, becoming able to think more clearly, I have begun to see that he is answering my prayer through medical intervention.
Paul had a bone to pick with God as well (2 Cor. 12). He pleaded several times to have a “thorn in his flesh” removed because it made life more difficult. God did not answer his plea the way he wanted. God told him, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. Paul’s response was that he would boast in his weakness so that the power of Christ would be fully revealed in him.
My need for medication to keep me grounded and focused is God’s way of telling me that his grace is sufficient for this thorn in my flesh. And since God does not shame his children, then my shame over having a mental illness is misguided. Do I intend to shout it from the roof? No, but I can share like I am now to give hope to someone who may need help and doesn’t know where to turn, or who is afraid to admit that they struggle with depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, or any other mental condition. It’s not sin; it’s a physical brain disorder in my case and for others a chemical imbalance that is treatable.
If the church could hear and listen to the hearts of those who struggle to keep in control, they might find compassion rather than fear or misunderstanding. Those who view mental health issues as weakness might be able rethink their position and see with God’s eyes the true nature of believers who are mentally ill, that they are beloved by him just as much as those who are “normal.”
I have stepped out of my comfort zone to say all this. It’s like hanging out the laundry for all to see. Yet I know that someone might find hope in my words and revelation. God does hear and answer prayer. We just don’t always see or expect the answers to come in the guise that they do. God is faithful and his grace is sufficient for all our needs and weaknesses. Grace, God’s grace is really all we need.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Relationships Matter
There is probably nothing more precious than relationship with others. And nothing is more important for relationship than communication. It’s the glue that binds us together as we interact with one another. When communication fails, then relationships go awry. Assumptions are made, words misspoken, wrong attitudes taken and all because of broken communication.
Recently, I found myself in a situation in which communication broke down. It was no one person’s fault, but it happened all the same and feelings were raw and assumptions were made that didn’t have to happen—all because we did not talk.
When we finally did talk, the air was cleared, emotions were validated; and misunderstandings were straightened out. Though not everyone was in agreement when all was said and done, we agreed to disagree, and love prevailed as will happen if all parties want to keep relationships strong and vital.
God is love and those who love him love each other. That is the hallmark of Christianity. Unity does not mean that all will agree on every issue, but if all seek God’s will then we will stand together in one accord in the desire to carry the good news of Jesus death and resurrection. That is how love works. Every aspect of our relationships is important to God and the Holy Spirit actively works in our hearts and minds to keep our love for one another strong. What God wants is to see us loving one another even we don’t agree on all issues.
There are issues that are non-negotiable, the tenants of the Christian faith, but as the saying goes, in essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity. All the parties involved allowed love to rule the day and in the end relationships were maintained and I believe were strengthened too.
I love those God has placed in my life and will do whatever it takes to insure that the relationships God has granted will grow and flourish. Love will rule the rule the day and all will be richer for it. For that I am grateful and praise God for making it all possible.
Recently, I found myself in a situation in which communication broke down. It was no one person’s fault, but it happened all the same and feelings were raw and assumptions were made that didn’t have to happen—all because we did not talk.
When we finally did talk, the air was cleared, emotions were validated; and misunderstandings were straightened out. Though not everyone was in agreement when all was said and done, we agreed to disagree, and love prevailed as will happen if all parties want to keep relationships strong and vital.
God is love and those who love him love each other. That is the hallmark of Christianity. Unity does not mean that all will agree on every issue, but if all seek God’s will then we will stand together in one accord in the desire to carry the good news of Jesus death and resurrection. That is how love works. Every aspect of our relationships is important to God and the Holy Spirit actively works in our hearts and minds to keep our love for one another strong. What God wants is to see us loving one another even we don’t agree on all issues.
There are issues that are non-negotiable, the tenants of the Christian faith, but as the saying goes, in essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity. All the parties involved allowed love to rule the day and in the end relationships were maintained and I believe were strengthened too.
I love those God has placed in my life and will do whatever it takes to insure that the relationships God has granted will grow and flourish. Love will rule the rule the day and all will be richer for it. For that I am grateful and praise God for making it all possible.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Joy In All things
Ever since we found out my son has been accepted to West Point, it’s been one big roller coaster ride. We have been hit with required information requests that have us running all over town: Immunizations and tests, dental appointments, eye exams, etc. And it all has to be in yesterday. Joy tempered with a lot of have to do’s.
Life mirrors our current experience, joy tempered by demands, at least it seems that way sometimes. A great new job offset by a longer and more irritating commute, or a bundle of joy baby that never sleeps when you need to; a new home that requires a time and monetary investment to maintain unlike renting. The fact is there are always things that conspire to lessen or even rob us entirely of joy. Blessing added with sorrow is how someone once put it.
But God doesn’t add sorrow to his blessings. They are completely joy based. Proverbs 10:22 says, The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. It is his intent that his blessings bring joy, abundant joy. He delights in our laughter and light-heartedness. He delights in giving good gifts to his children. Life just sometimes dishes out stress and we end up losing our grip on joy. Add to that the fact that Jesus told us Satan, the enemy of our soul, comes to steal, kill and destroy. He actively works to wrest our joy from us. It’s like a double whammy.
The good news is we don’t have to give in to joy robbing feelings. In Galatians, Paul listed the fruit of the Spirit and joy is the second one listed right after love. God joy. In spite of life’s demands and the efforts of the evil one, we can find joy in what God has done and continues to do for us. If we ask, he will give us sight to see the blessings that are always a part of our lives as believers. That baby that won’t sleep will charm with smiles and giggles. The realization that having a house, however humble and needing of repair is more than most of the rest of the world’s population can boast. Having a job, any job is something some do not have.
There are those who face great challenges, some good, some not, and God has promised joy can and will be a part of that experience. Joy, though it may be lost temporarily, is given by a good and loving God and Jesus promised it will never be taken away (John 16:22). Blessings and joy, God joy, is what God intends for his children to experience in this life, not just the next. We can all pray together and we can share with one another our joy and those things that seem to diminish it, and like a light that cannot be extinguished, joy will creep into every dark place and burst out when we seek it. That’s a promise.
Life mirrors our current experience, joy tempered by demands, at least it seems that way sometimes. A great new job offset by a longer and more irritating commute, or a bundle of joy baby that never sleeps when you need to; a new home that requires a time and monetary investment to maintain unlike renting. The fact is there are always things that conspire to lessen or even rob us entirely of joy. Blessing added with sorrow is how someone once put it.
But God doesn’t add sorrow to his blessings. They are completely joy based. Proverbs 10:22 says, The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. It is his intent that his blessings bring joy, abundant joy. He delights in our laughter and light-heartedness. He delights in giving good gifts to his children. Life just sometimes dishes out stress and we end up losing our grip on joy. Add to that the fact that Jesus told us Satan, the enemy of our soul, comes to steal, kill and destroy. He actively works to wrest our joy from us. It’s like a double whammy.
The good news is we don’t have to give in to joy robbing feelings. In Galatians, Paul listed the fruit of the Spirit and joy is the second one listed right after love. God joy. In spite of life’s demands and the efforts of the evil one, we can find joy in what God has done and continues to do for us. If we ask, he will give us sight to see the blessings that are always a part of our lives as believers. That baby that won’t sleep will charm with smiles and giggles. The realization that having a house, however humble and needing of repair is more than most of the rest of the world’s population can boast. Having a job, any job is something some do not have.
There are those who face great challenges, some good, some not, and God has promised joy can and will be a part of that experience. Joy, though it may be lost temporarily, is given by a good and loving God and Jesus promised it will never be taken away (John 16:22). Blessings and joy, God joy, is what God intends for his children to experience in this life, not just the next. We can all pray together and we can share with one another our joy and those things that seem to diminish it, and like a light that cannot be extinguished, joy will creep into every dark place and burst out when we seek it. That’s a promise.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
God Block
It’s been a few days since I wrote anything. I’ve been unable to put pen to paper, or rather fingers to the keyboard. I’ve had the time and have stared at a blank page repeatedly waiting for inspiration to strike. Something profound and insightful, and instead I’m admitting that I have nothing of note to say.
I had the germ of an idea come to me while I was driving home from church, but got distracted, and for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was, which is very frustrating. I get ideas for what to write just about everywhere but at home with my computer at the ready. I can usually run for the computer when I get home and let the words flow. But today and the last several days, the tap has run dry.
What I am learning as a writer is that it’s okay if I occasionally have writer’s block. It’s not the end of the world. Words will eventually come again. So it also is with the overwhelming sense of God’s presence. There are times when it seems he is present to me in tangible ways. I can literally feel him around me. But times do come when I feel quite alone and I wonder where he went, why I no longer sense his being. It’s a spiritual form of writer’s block: Spirit block.
I know that sin can block the presence, the awareness of God’s nearness, but it’s not always a sin issue. He promised that if we diligently seek him, he will make himself clearly known (Hebrews 11:6, 1 Chronicles 28:9). I know that God does not play “stump the believer.” If he withdraws for a season, there is good reason. I think God masks himself at times to see what we will do. I think he wants to see how much and how hard we will pursue him. Like a lover, he wants to see if we desire him as well. And he is the lover of our souls. Jesus made it very clear through the cross.
When I am in the midst of writer’s block, I make myself write something, anything at all. It doesn’t have to be great, but to write anything helps keep the words coming. So too is the discipline of the faith walk. When God seems a million miles away, I keep praying and reading the bible. It helps keep me from losing heart when I no longer feel the mountaintop high of being so near to God that I could almost reach out and touch him.
The valleys in the spirit life will come, but as David wrote so well: Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me (NRSV). We will have times of apparent abandonment, but they are only temporary, and our feelings mislead us in that the truth is God is always near us, and as believers, in us.
My writer’s block will end, but God’s presence will not. I know that as long as I go ahead and make the effort to seek, there will be reward in the end. Words will come, and God will once again make his face to shine on me. How wonderful is that?
I had the germ of an idea come to me while I was driving home from church, but got distracted, and for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was, which is very frustrating. I get ideas for what to write just about everywhere but at home with my computer at the ready. I can usually run for the computer when I get home and let the words flow. But today and the last several days, the tap has run dry.
What I am learning as a writer is that it’s okay if I occasionally have writer’s block. It’s not the end of the world. Words will eventually come again. So it also is with the overwhelming sense of God’s presence. There are times when it seems he is present to me in tangible ways. I can literally feel him around me. But times do come when I feel quite alone and I wonder where he went, why I no longer sense his being. It’s a spiritual form of writer’s block: Spirit block.
I know that sin can block the presence, the awareness of God’s nearness, but it’s not always a sin issue. He promised that if we diligently seek him, he will make himself clearly known (Hebrews 11:6, 1 Chronicles 28:9). I know that God does not play “stump the believer.” If he withdraws for a season, there is good reason. I think God masks himself at times to see what we will do. I think he wants to see how much and how hard we will pursue him. Like a lover, he wants to see if we desire him as well. And he is the lover of our souls. Jesus made it very clear through the cross.
When I am in the midst of writer’s block, I make myself write something, anything at all. It doesn’t have to be great, but to write anything helps keep the words coming. So too is the discipline of the faith walk. When God seems a million miles away, I keep praying and reading the bible. It helps keep me from losing heart when I no longer feel the mountaintop high of being so near to God that I could almost reach out and touch him.
The valleys in the spirit life will come, but as David wrote so well: Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me (NRSV). We will have times of apparent abandonment, but they are only temporary, and our feelings mislead us in that the truth is God is always near us, and as believers, in us.
My writer’s block will end, but God’s presence will not. I know that as long as I go ahead and make the effort to seek, there will be reward in the end. Words will come, and God will once again make his face to shine on me. How wonderful is that?
Thursday, April 3, 2008
God is Great, God is Good
I work in a library, so I get to see a lot of books. I am always interested in what others are reading. Books pass through my hands that look they might be good reads. Others I can only think, “Why would you read that?” and whisper a prayer for them.
One title that has been getting a lot of attention lately is a book entitled God is not Great. Every time I see it, the childhood grace prayer comes to mind as I think “but God is great and God is good. How could anyone write a book with that title?” And again, I pray for the person who is checking the book out.
But the book made me stop and ask myself if I have ever doubted God’s greatness and goodness. I have to admit, there have been times when I have in fact doubted that God cared about what was going on in my life because of what I preceive as unanswered prayer. That’s a hard thing to own up to. Christians aren’t supposed to feel that way. But I have been angry with God on more than one occasion, doubting that his nature is always good. I am somewhat ashamed to admit it. But truth has a way of freeing us to change our attitudes. I share this because I know I do not suffer from “terminal uniqueness” and others have experienced the same feelings at times. They are not alone, nor are they bad.
That God is great is declared throughout the Bible. Psalm 19: 1-2 says, The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. In Romans 1:20 Paul writes, Ever since the creation of the world, his eternal power and divine nature, invisible though they are, have been understood and seen through the things he has made. God’s greatness revealed to all through creation.
But God’s goodness is also evident. In Matthew 5:45 Jesus said God causes the sun to rise on all and the rain to fall for the righteous as well as the unrighteous. All through David’s psalms, he speaks of God’s goodness to the people of Israel even though they sinned time and again. In my own life, God’s goodness has been shown repeatedly; even when angry at times and in sin, his mercy has never waned.
I might read the book to see why the author feels that way. Just as I am not alone in my times of doubt, so too, he is not alone in feeling that God is not all he’s cracked up to be. We have a mandate from the Lord to tell the good news to the world that he loves people, enough to have died for them. For me, there is no more time to be wasted questioning God’s nature. I have been lovingly chastened for it by him. The world is full of people who question God and we need to share the news that indeed God is great, God is good.
One title that has been getting a lot of attention lately is a book entitled God is not Great. Every time I see it, the childhood grace prayer comes to mind as I think “but God is great and God is good. How could anyone write a book with that title?” And again, I pray for the person who is checking the book out.
But the book made me stop and ask myself if I have ever doubted God’s greatness and goodness. I have to admit, there have been times when I have in fact doubted that God cared about what was going on in my life because of what I preceive as unanswered prayer. That’s a hard thing to own up to. Christians aren’t supposed to feel that way. But I have been angry with God on more than one occasion, doubting that his nature is always good. I am somewhat ashamed to admit it. But truth has a way of freeing us to change our attitudes. I share this because I know I do not suffer from “terminal uniqueness” and others have experienced the same feelings at times. They are not alone, nor are they bad.
That God is great is declared throughout the Bible. Psalm 19: 1-2 says, The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. In Romans 1:20 Paul writes, Ever since the creation of the world, his eternal power and divine nature, invisible though they are, have been understood and seen through the things he has made. God’s greatness revealed to all through creation.
But God’s goodness is also evident. In Matthew 5:45 Jesus said God causes the sun to rise on all and the rain to fall for the righteous as well as the unrighteous. All through David’s psalms, he speaks of God’s goodness to the people of Israel even though they sinned time and again. In my own life, God’s goodness has been shown repeatedly; even when angry at times and in sin, his mercy has never waned.
I might read the book to see why the author feels that way. Just as I am not alone in my times of doubt, so too, he is not alone in feeling that God is not all he’s cracked up to be. We have a mandate from the Lord to tell the good news to the world that he loves people, enough to have died for them. For me, there is no more time to be wasted questioning God’s nature. I have been lovingly chastened for it by him. The world is full of people who question God and we need to share the news that indeed God is great, God is good.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Will to Believe
Sometimes it’s just hard to believe for the best; at least it is for me. I don’t think I am alone in that regard. Circumstances crowd in and choke out faith. But faith is defined in scripture as believing in things not yet seen, things not yet realized (Hebrews 11). Faith is what it's all about. God-sized faith. So where does this faith come from?
For me, faith comes as I read my bible. It comes as I talk with other believers about the trials I am facing and about the hope that is ours in Christ. The input from both builds me, but that can’t be all. There has to be a willingness on my part to believe. That may sound off, but it’s true. I can read the bible all day and poll everyone in my life, but all the words will mean nothing if I am not willing to believe that God answers prayer and has the ability to shape my life in ways that transform me.
I have to be brutally honest here. There have been times in my faith walk when I have not always been willing to believe. It’s not a conscious unwillingness, but it can be there nonetheless. The last bout took me a while to recognize. It slowly became apparent to me that I was unwilling as I asked the same questions over and over, never quite believing the answer I was getting from people I hold in high esteem, people I trust. It was a fear issue. In doing so, I was not allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart. I was holding onto my fear. It was easier to live with what I had been feeling for so long than it was to let go and move on. Ouch.
God-sized faith doesn’t come naturally to us. It is a gift, but we need to accept it. Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus is the pioneer and perfector of our faith (NRSV). When I falter, I can look to Jesus to give me the faith I need to believe as well as the gift of willingness. It's all about him. He is the giver and sustainer of the faith necessary to please God. In Psalm 27, David said, I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. He was able to say that after writing about his many troubles (read the whole Psalm). He was willing to believe and that willingness helped transform him and sustain him.
God never promised it would be easy to believe, but he promised that he would save, deliver and defend. That is something I can believe in. I am willing.
For me, faith comes as I read my bible. It comes as I talk with other believers about the trials I am facing and about the hope that is ours in Christ. The input from both builds me, but that can’t be all. There has to be a willingness on my part to believe. That may sound off, but it’s true. I can read the bible all day and poll everyone in my life, but all the words will mean nothing if I am not willing to believe that God answers prayer and has the ability to shape my life in ways that transform me.
I have to be brutally honest here. There have been times in my faith walk when I have not always been willing to believe. It’s not a conscious unwillingness, but it can be there nonetheless. The last bout took me a while to recognize. It slowly became apparent to me that I was unwilling as I asked the same questions over and over, never quite believing the answer I was getting from people I hold in high esteem, people I trust. It was a fear issue. In doing so, I was not allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart. I was holding onto my fear. It was easier to live with what I had been feeling for so long than it was to let go and move on. Ouch.
God-sized faith doesn’t come naturally to us. It is a gift, but we need to accept it. Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus is the pioneer and perfector of our faith (NRSV). When I falter, I can look to Jesus to give me the faith I need to believe as well as the gift of willingness. It's all about him. He is the giver and sustainer of the faith necessary to please God. In Psalm 27, David said, I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. He was able to say that after writing about his many troubles (read the whole Psalm). He was willing to believe and that willingness helped transform him and sustain him.
God never promised it would be easy to believe, but he promised that he would save, deliver and defend. That is something I can believe in. I am willing.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The 4:00 a.m. Matins
I am sitting here at four in the morning writing because I am unable to sleep. I have medications that help me fall asleep, but they haven’t done the job tonight. I guess I have too much on my mind.
I’ll call this the 4:00 am matins. I will sing and chant quietly to myself through this essay about the greatness of God and his mercy that endures forever. Getting up in the wee hours has been a routine for certain monks for centuries, singing Psalms in order to draw closer to God. That is why I’m not just grabbing the latest book I am reading, but rather trying to draw closer to God through this pray that I am writing, because all done in his name is a form of prayer, of humble adoration to the One who owns all my time.
There is a quality of silence when you are up before most of the world, at least the world in the neighborhood. Before cars start up and clock alarms blare and coffee percolates. It is a silence that leads me toward the holy place of God’s presence. Sometimes I sit and breathe my prayers quietly. Other times I write them as I am doing now. God’s Spirit is directing my thoughts as I write and in the end, I will have an essay of his to share.
Jesus used to rise early before the din of the day began. He would withdraw from the crowds of the day, from the disciples and go to a quiet place to be alone in prayer with his Father. I can’t count the number of times I have said I would do the same only to end up like Peter, James and John who kept falling asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane when they had been asked to pray. Prayer, the God kind of prayer takes discipline and determination that I simply do not routinely have, sometimes, but mostly not. That is a confession I must make. I am not a prayer warrior like some I have known. Not by a long shot. But I am trying now to connect with my Savior and I know he is awaiting me.
God is a good and gracious God. His mercy endures forever, his steadfast love renewed each day and I am up early to get a chance to come into his presence to prepare my heart for all that he has for me this day. Normally I would be sleeping, but he awakened me to write for him, and so I do. Maybe it is an exhortation to those who have sleepless nights to read the bible rather the latest bestseller. To pray rather than turn on the TV to watch some late night program, to watch the sunrise and rejoice in a new day that God has given as a gift to you. Or maybe it is to write a prayer in a journal with the expectation that you will soon be able to record God’s answer to that prayer.
As I sit here and write, I am aware of his presence and it stirs me. It makes me more keenly aware of how I traipse through my days unaware of his indwelling Spirit. I get too busy and it feels like he gets left behind in my rush to accomplish daily duties. But he isn’t gone, he is still there waiting for me to stop and think of him, if only for a moment. To breathe in his presence and to breathe out my prayer of gratitude for his mercy in my life. To quietly remember the suffering of his Son on my behalf, to experience the humility of knowing how lost I would be without him. It only takes a few moments stolen at lunch or a coffee break to thank him for his daily grace.
I write this as much for me as for others. The Psalms are filled with prayers and hymns that we can use as prayer guides. They speak to the human experience in the search for God’s presence. He is always there. We just need to take a moment and seek. When we do, we will find him. That is his promise.
I’ll call this the 4:00 am matins. I will sing and chant quietly to myself through this essay about the greatness of God and his mercy that endures forever. Getting up in the wee hours has been a routine for certain monks for centuries, singing Psalms in order to draw closer to God. That is why I’m not just grabbing the latest book I am reading, but rather trying to draw closer to God through this pray that I am writing, because all done in his name is a form of prayer, of humble adoration to the One who owns all my time.
There is a quality of silence when you are up before most of the world, at least the world in the neighborhood. Before cars start up and clock alarms blare and coffee percolates. It is a silence that leads me toward the holy place of God’s presence. Sometimes I sit and breathe my prayers quietly. Other times I write them as I am doing now. God’s Spirit is directing my thoughts as I write and in the end, I will have an essay of his to share.
Jesus used to rise early before the din of the day began. He would withdraw from the crowds of the day, from the disciples and go to a quiet place to be alone in prayer with his Father. I can’t count the number of times I have said I would do the same only to end up like Peter, James and John who kept falling asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane when they had been asked to pray. Prayer, the God kind of prayer takes discipline and determination that I simply do not routinely have, sometimes, but mostly not. That is a confession I must make. I am not a prayer warrior like some I have known. Not by a long shot. But I am trying now to connect with my Savior and I know he is awaiting me.
God is a good and gracious God. His mercy endures forever, his steadfast love renewed each day and I am up early to get a chance to come into his presence to prepare my heart for all that he has for me this day. Normally I would be sleeping, but he awakened me to write for him, and so I do. Maybe it is an exhortation to those who have sleepless nights to read the bible rather the latest bestseller. To pray rather than turn on the TV to watch some late night program, to watch the sunrise and rejoice in a new day that God has given as a gift to you. Or maybe it is to write a prayer in a journal with the expectation that you will soon be able to record God’s answer to that prayer.
As I sit here and write, I am aware of his presence and it stirs me. It makes me more keenly aware of how I traipse through my days unaware of his indwelling Spirit. I get too busy and it feels like he gets left behind in my rush to accomplish daily duties. But he isn’t gone, he is still there waiting for me to stop and think of him, if only for a moment. To breathe in his presence and to breathe out my prayer of gratitude for his mercy in my life. To quietly remember the suffering of his Son on my behalf, to experience the humility of knowing how lost I would be without him. It only takes a few moments stolen at lunch or a coffee break to thank him for his daily grace.
I write this as much for me as for others. The Psalms are filled with prayers and hymns that we can use as prayer guides. They speak to the human experience in the search for God’s presence. He is always there. We just need to take a moment and seek. When we do, we will find him. That is his promise.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Dwelling in Unity
How wonderful it is, how pleasant, when brothers live together in harmony! Psalm 133:1
Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Rejoice. Change your ways. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Cor. 13:11
How hard it is sometimes to live at peace with one another. We are all so different in so many ways in personality and life experience. Yet, scripture urges us to be unified in order to work in harmony for the same goal: Extending the kingdom of God. We all have differing roles in doing kingdom work, as Paul teaches in his well known analogy of the body parts (1 Cor. 12). We all need each other, different as we are.
In the same chapter of 1Cor., Paul wrote that God has given each of us different gifts to serve him, and he has also given people as gifts to the church for the purpose of equipping the saints to do the work. All of the spiritual gifts and the gifts of people are to work in harmony. Nothing disrupts kingdom work more than division among God’s people. That is why Paul wrote about it. He knew that things that divide could crop up and undo all that has been accomplished. How Satan loves that.
We are not cookie cutter people. In other words, we are not exactly the same. There are personality conflicts. There are differences of opinion about matters of theology and church governance. There are differences in thought about whether or not infant baptism is valid, if one is sprinkled or dunked. There are myriad issues that can divide and all grieve God when it causes splits in the church. But one thing is clear, we are to love one another and respect one another as well as the authority of those who have been appointed to lead the church. In Hebrews the author writes: Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. (13 :17)
Why do I write about this? Because I sometimes don’t agree with the leadership God has placed over me. But I am convinced that all leadership comes from God and therefore I am to pray for the leaders in my life from the President to my boss, to my pastor, to the elders and trust that God will use them to shape me into the person he has called me to be. If it were easy to always live in harmony, we’d never grow in appreciation and respect and love for one another. As it is, when I disagree, it is a chance for me to learn submission, something that definitely does not come naturally for me. Telling the truth in love means being gentle, approaching in private and doing all that can be done to be reconciled. Depending on circumstances, sometimes being right can be wrong.
I need to look hard at myself and ask God to reveal to me where I am a cause of division and repent by cleaning up my side of the street before crossing it to reach out to my brother or sister. Humbleness goes a long way toward being in harmony. I pray that I can be humble in all my relationships, to my brothers and sisters in Christ, to my husband, my son, my coworkers at my job. To all God has placed in my life. It may not always be easy, but God gives grace to make it be so.
Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Rejoice. Change your ways. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Cor. 13:11
How hard it is sometimes to live at peace with one another. We are all so different in so many ways in personality and life experience. Yet, scripture urges us to be unified in order to work in harmony for the same goal: Extending the kingdom of God. We all have differing roles in doing kingdom work, as Paul teaches in his well known analogy of the body parts (1 Cor. 12). We all need each other, different as we are.
In the same chapter of 1Cor., Paul wrote that God has given each of us different gifts to serve him, and he has also given people as gifts to the church for the purpose of equipping the saints to do the work. All of the spiritual gifts and the gifts of people are to work in harmony. Nothing disrupts kingdom work more than division among God’s people. That is why Paul wrote about it. He knew that things that divide could crop up and undo all that has been accomplished. How Satan loves that.
We are not cookie cutter people. In other words, we are not exactly the same. There are personality conflicts. There are differences of opinion about matters of theology and church governance. There are differences in thought about whether or not infant baptism is valid, if one is sprinkled or dunked. There are myriad issues that can divide and all grieve God when it causes splits in the church. But one thing is clear, we are to love one another and respect one another as well as the authority of those who have been appointed to lead the church. In Hebrews the author writes: Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. (13 :17)
Why do I write about this? Because I sometimes don’t agree with the leadership God has placed over me. But I am convinced that all leadership comes from God and therefore I am to pray for the leaders in my life from the President to my boss, to my pastor, to the elders and trust that God will use them to shape me into the person he has called me to be. If it were easy to always live in harmony, we’d never grow in appreciation and respect and love for one another. As it is, when I disagree, it is a chance for me to learn submission, something that definitely does not come naturally for me. Telling the truth in love means being gentle, approaching in private and doing all that can be done to be reconciled. Depending on circumstances, sometimes being right can be wrong.
I need to look hard at myself and ask God to reveal to me where I am a cause of division and repent by cleaning up my side of the street before crossing it to reach out to my brother or sister. Humbleness goes a long way toward being in harmony. I pray that I can be humble in all my relationships, to my brothers and sisters in Christ, to my husband, my son, my coworkers at my job. To all God has placed in my life. It may not always be easy, but God gives grace to make it be so.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
An Empty Tomb
Maundy Thursday and Good Friday have passed. Today is a day of waiting for the Lord’s resurrection, though to the disciples, it was a day of agonized fear. All they thought they knew was gone. They were sure they had found the Messiah, but before their very eyes, he was cruelly murdered and they had to hide from the authorities lest they too be arrested.
Whatever they were thinking and talking about, it wasn’t hopeful. We see Saturday from a perspective that they were not able. It was not a time of expectation for them. It was a day of dread and hopelessness. I can imagine them debating what to do next, but always falling back on the tearful silence that comes when your world has fallen apart and you don’t know what to do next.
There have been times in my life when all that I thought I knew fell apart. Such a time was twenty-four years ago when I was in the last stages of alcoholism. I wanted my life to be better, but I could not see how that was possible. It was a time of utter hopelessness. I could not see a future of anything but the same futile way of living. But then a glimmer of hope was extended to me in the form of AA and I saw that a new life was within my reach.
I understand the hopelessness the disciples must have felt on that Saturday before the resurrection. My hopelessness paralleled it. But like Easter morning when the stone was rolled away and the tomb was found to be empty, my life under went a profound resurrection as well. My own form of death was overcome by a new way of living. I was given new life by the One who stepped out of the tomb 2,000 years ago and made all things new.
The grave is empty. That is why we celebrate Easter. Death and sin no longer rule, but rather life and righteousness. God has conquered death and it no longer has dominion over those who believe. We have much to rejoice about in this holy time of year.
Whatever may be a matter of hopelessness in your life, let me encourage you with the picture of a garden and two women who are on their way to anoint a dead body. As they walk there, they ask one another who will roll away the huge stone that encloses the tomb entrance. But when they arrive, rather than seeing a boulder in their path, they see an angel who asks them why they are seeking the living among the dead, that the one they seek is no longer in the grave but has risen and calls them to follow him in newness of life.
A new hope was born that day and that hope is there for all who seek it. It can never be taken away. Light has overcome darkness, life has overcome death, and joy has overcome grief. My prayer is for those who need hope, that they will find it because he is risen. He is risen indeed!
Whatever they were thinking and talking about, it wasn’t hopeful. We see Saturday from a perspective that they were not able. It was not a time of expectation for them. It was a day of dread and hopelessness. I can imagine them debating what to do next, but always falling back on the tearful silence that comes when your world has fallen apart and you don’t know what to do next.
There have been times in my life when all that I thought I knew fell apart. Such a time was twenty-four years ago when I was in the last stages of alcoholism. I wanted my life to be better, but I could not see how that was possible. It was a time of utter hopelessness. I could not see a future of anything but the same futile way of living. But then a glimmer of hope was extended to me in the form of AA and I saw that a new life was within my reach.
I understand the hopelessness the disciples must have felt on that Saturday before the resurrection. My hopelessness paralleled it. But like Easter morning when the stone was rolled away and the tomb was found to be empty, my life under went a profound resurrection as well. My own form of death was overcome by a new way of living. I was given new life by the One who stepped out of the tomb 2,000 years ago and made all things new.
The grave is empty. That is why we celebrate Easter. Death and sin no longer rule, but rather life and righteousness. God has conquered death and it no longer has dominion over those who believe. We have much to rejoice about in this holy time of year.
Whatever may be a matter of hopelessness in your life, let me encourage you with the picture of a garden and two women who are on their way to anoint a dead body. As they walk there, they ask one another who will roll away the huge stone that encloses the tomb entrance. But when they arrive, rather than seeing a boulder in their path, they see an angel who asks them why they are seeking the living among the dead, that the one they seek is no longer in the grave but has risen and calls them to follow him in newness of life.
A new hope was born that day and that hope is there for all who seek it. It can never be taken away. Light has overcome darkness, life has overcome death, and joy has overcome grief. My prayer is for those who need hope, that they will find it because he is risen. He is risen indeed!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
God is good all the time
This morning while I was drying off from my shower, my back began to spasm. Every now and then, for no apparent reason, my back will go into painful spasms and I am in agony. I quickly did some stretching exercises to head it off, but it is only in a "when you least expect it I will get you" mode. I am praying that it not lock up for days which can happen.
There have been times when circumstances in my life seem to do the same thing: sneak up on me and cause pain. There appears to be no particular reason why some things happen out of the blue. A car accident, a sudden illness, an unexpected expense, a quarrel that seems to come out of nowhere. Where is God in those events?
My pastor has a phrase she uses frequently: "if God is in it, then it's all good." The assumption being that God is present at all times and in all places and therefore is in every area and aspect of our lives, the good and what seems bad at the moment. The reason why all things work out for good is that God himself is good and lives in every believer. Our lives are a journey that sometimes includes trials of various sorts and though at the time we may feel pain, nevertheless, God's presence assures us that in the end, all will be well. Like the old adage, "all is well that ends well," God promises that we will look back on our lives and see how all the times of our lives add up to joy and peace, even that which was painful at the time.
And if God is present in all events that touch us, then nothing is happenstance. All things work together, the seemingly mundane as well as the momentous events. Day to day living, in a walk with God that can be wild and scary at times, but in the end is worth it.
In the big picture, my back spasm isn't of eternal consequence. It is a frustrating condition that I have to live with and I can choose to complain or I can choose to thank God for medications that ease my suffering. It's a tiny step in character development. I will do some more stretches and take medicine if it hurts too much. And I will thank God that he is near me in all that happens, good and not so good. All is well that ends well.
There have been times when circumstances in my life seem to do the same thing: sneak up on me and cause pain. There appears to be no particular reason why some things happen out of the blue. A car accident, a sudden illness, an unexpected expense, a quarrel that seems to come out of nowhere. Where is God in those events?
My pastor has a phrase she uses frequently: "if God is in it, then it's all good." The assumption being that God is present at all times and in all places and therefore is in every area and aspect of our lives, the good and what seems bad at the moment. The reason why all things work out for good is that God himself is good and lives in every believer. Our lives are a journey that sometimes includes trials of various sorts and though at the time we may feel pain, nevertheless, God's presence assures us that in the end, all will be well. Like the old adage, "all is well that ends well," God promises that we will look back on our lives and see how all the times of our lives add up to joy and peace, even that which was painful at the time.
And if God is present in all events that touch us, then nothing is happenstance. All things work together, the seemingly mundane as well as the momentous events. Day to day living, in a walk with God that can be wild and scary at times, but in the end is worth it.
In the big picture, my back spasm isn't of eternal consequence. It is a frustrating condition that I have to live with and I can choose to complain or I can choose to thank God for medications that ease my suffering. It's a tiny step in character development. I will do some more stretches and take medicine if it hurts too much. And I will thank God that he is near me in all that happens, good and not so good. All is well that ends well.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Resting in the Lord
I took a “mental health day” this past week. Now and then I need one to keep from allowing emotions to run amok. I am grateful to have a job where I can take off on occasion and a boss who agrees that a break now and then is a good thing. It’s a mini vacation that helps me step back from the demands of the job and take a breather to relax.
We all need some time now and then to relax and renew. Life can be demanding and we need mental play time to stay fresh and on top of things. Jesus knew this when he called his disciples away from the presence of the crowds that formed wherever he went. He understood that the demands of ministry could be draining and that unless the disciples rested and got filled up again, they would be running on empty and that would diminish the effectiveness of their work. Jesus also needed break time, though it was often interrupted, and he spent hours in prayer, away from everyone. It was his way of recharging.
Ministry is demanding. But we need to remember that it’s not just Jesus and the disciples. It’s not just the pastor, or the elders or deacons. It’s us. We all have a ministry that the Lord has assigned us. And unless we take breaks now and then, we wear down and lose our focus then things suffer. Maybe it shows up as a stressed marriage or strained relationships with children. Maybe it’s a stumble on the straight and narrow in the workplace where gossip and backbiting flourish. Maybe it’s not praying daily for others. We have ministries that God has given us, but we can only keep pouring ourselves out for so long, and then we need to regroup and rest or we lose sight of what matters most.
This week, try to step back, if only briefly, and catch your breath. You will be a better husband or wife, a better parent and friend. You’ll be a better witness and find greater desire to pray and read the word if you allow yourself to take time to relax and renew. How you do that is unique to you. Read, listen to music, prepare a new recipe, or take a walk. Just stop for a while and let God fill you up again so you will be ready for what lies ahead each day. Ministry is a gift, but so is rest.
We all need some time now and then to relax and renew. Life can be demanding and we need mental play time to stay fresh and on top of things. Jesus knew this when he called his disciples away from the presence of the crowds that formed wherever he went. He understood that the demands of ministry could be draining and that unless the disciples rested and got filled up again, they would be running on empty and that would diminish the effectiveness of their work. Jesus also needed break time, though it was often interrupted, and he spent hours in prayer, away from everyone. It was his way of recharging.
Ministry is demanding. But we need to remember that it’s not just Jesus and the disciples. It’s not just the pastor, or the elders or deacons. It’s us. We all have a ministry that the Lord has assigned us. And unless we take breaks now and then, we wear down and lose our focus then things suffer. Maybe it shows up as a stressed marriage or strained relationships with children. Maybe it’s a stumble on the straight and narrow in the workplace where gossip and backbiting flourish. Maybe it’s not praying daily for others. We have ministries that God has given us, but we can only keep pouring ourselves out for so long, and then we need to regroup and rest or we lose sight of what matters most.
This week, try to step back, if only briefly, and catch your breath. You will be a better husband or wife, a better parent and friend. You’ll be a better witness and find greater desire to pray and read the word if you allow yourself to take time to relax and renew. How you do that is unique to you. Read, listen to music, prepare a new recipe, or take a walk. Just stop for a while and let God fill you up again so you will be ready for what lies ahead each day. Ministry is a gift, but so is rest.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
To Everything There is a Season
The first time I heard the words, “To everything there is a season” it was a song sung by the Byrds in the ‘60s (I’m dating myself). I just loved the song. I had no idea that the lyrics came right out of the Bible. Years later, I found them in the 3rd chapter of Ecclesiastes. The verses speak of changing seasons. Our lives are a constant ebb and flow of changes. There are seasons of sitting, of predictability, but they don’t last.
The author of those verses understood that God was present in all seasons. Hundreds of years later another writer would describe Jesus as the same yesterday, today and forever. Still another would speak of God as the Alpha and Omega. He is the firm foundation on which we can stand when everything around us is shifting.
Changes can be difficult. We resist the unknown because the familiar, even if it’s not so hot, is more comfortable. Like the Israelites, we can begin to think the past was better because change requires so much and we’d rather not go there. But even if the present is going well, God sometimes asks us to let go of the present good so he can bring about the future best. He asks us to trust. Not always an easy thing to do.
If you have never read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, I encourage you to do so. In those words you will find an outline of your life’s journey. Another ‘60s anthem said, “the times they are a’changing.” How very true. It’s for us to watch for God’s hand in the changes we experience. It’s there if we look.
The author of those verses understood that God was present in all seasons. Hundreds of years later another writer would describe Jesus as the same yesterday, today and forever. Still another would speak of God as the Alpha and Omega. He is the firm foundation on which we can stand when everything around us is shifting.
Changes can be difficult. We resist the unknown because the familiar, even if it’s not so hot, is more comfortable. Like the Israelites, we can begin to think the past was better because change requires so much and we’d rather not go there. But even if the present is going well, God sometimes asks us to let go of the present good so he can bring about the future best. He asks us to trust. Not always an easy thing to do.
If you have never read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, I encourage you to do so. In those words you will find an outline of your life’s journey. Another ‘60s anthem said, “the times they are a’changing.” How very true. It’s for us to watch for God’s hand in the changes we experience. It’s there if we look.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Though Trials May Come
There are days when nothing goes right. I stub my toe getting out of bed, the toast burns, I'm late for work and customers are royal pains. These are the days that try me and I admit I don't always live up to the title Christian. It's like I'm watching myself in slow-motion and see I am about to stumble and fall, yet am powerless to stop it all from happening. Or am I?
Awhile back I watched the movie "Evan Almighty." It's a cute feel-good movie about a modern day Noah. Tucked in among all the silliness was a nugget of truth. In one scene, God (Morgan Freeman) is talking to the wife of "Noah" and listens as she pours out her frustrations and fears. In response, he tells her that when we pray for courage God doesn't just give us courage, rather he gives us opportunity to be courageous. When we ask for patience, the chance comes to demostrate patience. That scene made me cry because he spoke it so kindly and I realized how true the words were. We cannot live by the strength of Holy Spirit or demonstrate his nature without trials.
Days like today were tailor made for the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to the world through us. It is when demands increase and stress abounds that we have opportunity to let him show his character through us. Do we get it right every time? No, at least I don't, but eventually we do. He keeps giving us chances to grow. James 1:2-4 says, "My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing."
Some trials are life and death issues, like a cancer diagnosis, a lost job, the death of a loved one, and others are simply everyday stresses that have worn us down. But the words of James applies equally in all trials. While we are in the world, God grants opportunites for us to learn to be like Jesus everyday of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. He also grants us the companionship and fellowship of other believers who walk with us through the trials that come our way.
Regardless of how our days/lives are going, God has promised to uphold us and extend his grace so we may bear the burdens and show ourselves children of our Father. We are not alone. Praise God for his great mercy and wisdom! May you know the love and grace of God that surpasses all understanding in all your trials today.
Awhile back I watched the movie "Evan Almighty." It's a cute feel-good movie about a modern day Noah. Tucked in among all the silliness was a nugget of truth. In one scene, God (Morgan Freeman) is talking to the wife of "Noah" and listens as she pours out her frustrations and fears. In response, he tells her that when we pray for courage God doesn't just give us courage, rather he gives us opportunity to be courageous. When we ask for patience, the chance comes to demostrate patience. That scene made me cry because he spoke it so kindly and I realized how true the words were. We cannot live by the strength of Holy Spirit or demonstrate his nature without trials.
Days like today were tailor made for the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to the world through us. It is when demands increase and stress abounds that we have opportunity to let him show his character through us. Do we get it right every time? No, at least I don't, but eventually we do. He keeps giving us chances to grow. James 1:2-4 says, "My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing."
Some trials are life and death issues, like a cancer diagnosis, a lost job, the death of a loved one, and others are simply everyday stresses that have worn us down. But the words of James applies equally in all trials. While we are in the world, God grants opportunites for us to learn to be like Jesus everyday of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. He also grants us the companionship and fellowship of other believers who walk with us through the trials that come our way.
Regardless of how our days/lives are going, God has promised to uphold us and extend his grace so we may bear the burdens and show ourselves children of our Father. We are not alone. Praise God for his great mercy and wisdom! May you know the love and grace of God that surpasses all understanding in all your trials today.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Partaking of the Spirit
Today I participated in the sacrament of Holy Communion. It is a ritual my church observes monthly. While Protestants in general partake of it as a remembrance of the death of Christ, my Lutheran roots have never left me and it is so much more than that to me. There is something mysterious and almost mystical in the partaking of the Lord's Supper. The Holy Spirit is present in the elements, dispensing the grace of God in a very real and tangible way. I cannot receive the broken bread and the fruit of the vine without feeling the presence of grace in my life. I am a sinner and in need of God's gift of salvation extended through the body and blood of Jesus. Communion reminds me of that every time I take it.
Holy Communion is a means by which God's gift of salvation is made evident for all to see. In the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the cup, we proclaim Christ's death until he returns. It is the recalling to mind that it is only through Christ's death that we can be forgiven our sins. There had to be death before there could be resurrection. Holy Communion is the visible sacrament that shows forth the inestimable cost of salvation that was paid for us sinners to secure our salvation. In partaking of the sacrament, we can enter into his presence intimately because he is found in the elements. The gift of grace is received anew and in that we have the forgiveness of sins and the assurance of salvation.
Whatever your faith tradition is, communion should be a time of reflection on your need for cleansing from sin and need of salvation. Regardless of how we have fallen short, God's grace restores us time and again. Communion is his means of conveying that wondrous truth and assures our hearts of his unfailing love. Because of that, I take every opportunity to partake of communion. I need the grace that is made evident in that sacrament. My prayer is all who participate would sense the renewal and restoration that flows from the Holy Spirit. It is his free gift to all who come to his table of mercy.
Holy Communion is a means by which God's gift of salvation is made evident for all to see. In the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the cup, we proclaim Christ's death until he returns. It is the recalling to mind that it is only through Christ's death that we can be forgiven our sins. There had to be death before there could be resurrection. Holy Communion is the visible sacrament that shows forth the inestimable cost of salvation that was paid for us sinners to secure our salvation. In partaking of the sacrament, we can enter into his presence intimately because he is found in the elements. The gift of grace is received anew and in that we have the forgiveness of sins and the assurance of salvation.
Whatever your faith tradition is, communion should be a time of reflection on your need for cleansing from sin and need of salvation. Regardless of how we have fallen short, God's grace restores us time and again. Communion is his means of conveying that wondrous truth and assures our hearts of his unfailing love. Because of that, I take every opportunity to partake of communion. I need the grace that is made evident in that sacrament. My prayer is all who participate would sense the renewal and restoration that flows from the Holy Spirit. It is his free gift to all who come to his table of mercy.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
All things considered
For some time now I have considered blogging, but I was reluctant to do so for several reasons, chief of which is that I'm not certain I have very much to say that is of interest to those who read blogs. I also am not sure I can keep a blog up-to-date or relevant to readers. I also am reluctant to do something just because everyone is doing it. Having said all that, I have decided that I will take the plunge and write about the things that are important to me, and hopefully will strike others as important. I will not be political and will probably be pedestrian at times, but I will do my best to write well and to write about that which matters most: a life of faith in Jesus Christ. I doubt I will write daily, but when I do write, it will be a written testimony of my faith travels and travails, some of which will be familiar to readers from their own journeys. If I can spread hope and insight, then I will have done well in doing this. I invite readers to give feedback and share their stories as well. We can all learn from each other, indeed God intends that. So, here it is, my first blog. I hope to write more soon.
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