I've also been kept from doing a lot because my leg still requires me to stay off it. Just for another week, though, and then I can try going without the boot. There are housecleaning needs I will attend to immediately, but while that will make me feel a little better, it won't make up for not feeling productive. I've lost all sense of routine. The only thing I do regularly is tune into church over the internet and that is a lifeline to sanity in a time when life has been upended.
Mental health isn't just taking the right pills. It's built on emotional, spiritual and physical well being. My physical is undermined by the leg. I can't go for walks, which would help immensely. Being at loose ends undermines my emotional health. I'm used to doing a daily job in which I help people. I'm cut off from that. Spiritually, I'm hanging onto the zoom services which connect me to my church family. I'm praying and doing daily bible reading, but I still find depression creeping in.
Fatigue, inactivity, and not being out among other humans is taking its toll. I'm battling in a way I haven't for awhile. God is nearby, I believe. He hasn't abandoned me or any of his people. I have a bedrock of faith to stand on, but David had times of despair. His many laments bring home the truth that even people of faith sometimes lose the sense of joy. I could quote entire chapters of the Psalms that portray a man who was broken and sorrow-filled. Some of it from his own doing, some from the doings of others.
Yet, in the midst of trials and pain, he would remind himself God was faithful to his many promises. God would yet comfort and restore. And he chose to praise him even when he was bent low. His eyes, though sometimes swimming with tears, would remain fixed on God. He was a man after God's own heart. I will take my cues from him. Cry if I need to and hold fast to the faithfulness of God. As the Fernando Ortega song says "And he gave us life in his perfect will, and by his good grace I will praise him still."
Amen.
