Sunday, March 30, 2008

The 4:00 a.m. Matins

I am sitting here at four in the morning writing because I am unable to sleep. I have medications that help me fall asleep, but they haven’t done the job tonight. I guess I have too much on my mind.

I’ll call this the 4:00 am matins. I will sing and chant quietly to myself through this essay about the greatness of God and his mercy that endures forever. Getting up in the wee hours has been a routine for certain monks for centuries, singing Psalms in order to draw closer to God. That is why I’m not just grabbing the latest book I am reading, but rather trying to draw closer to God through this pray that I am writing, because all done in his name is a form of prayer, of humble adoration to the One who owns all my time.

There is a quality of silence when you are up before most of the world, at least the world in the neighborhood. Before cars start up and clock alarms blare and coffee percolates. It is a silence that leads me toward the holy place of God’s presence. Sometimes I sit and breathe my prayers quietly. Other times I write them as I am doing now. God’s Spirit is directing my thoughts as I write and in the end, I will have an essay of his to share.

Jesus used to rise early before the din of the day began. He would withdraw from the crowds of the day, from the disciples and go to a quiet place to be alone in prayer with his Father. I can’t count the number of times I have said I would do the same only to end up like Peter, James and John who kept falling asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane when they had been asked to pray. Prayer, the God kind of prayer takes discipline and determination that I simply do not routinely have, sometimes, but mostly not. That is a confession I must make. I am not a prayer warrior like some I have known. Not by a long shot. But I am trying now to connect with my Savior and I know he is awaiting me.

God is a good and gracious God. His mercy endures forever, his steadfast love renewed each day and I am up early to get a chance to come into his presence to prepare my heart for all that he has for me this day. Normally I would be sleeping, but he awakened me to write for him, and so I do. Maybe it is an exhortation to those who have sleepless nights to read the bible rather the latest bestseller. To pray rather than turn on the TV to watch some late night program, to watch the sunrise and rejoice in a new day that God has given as a gift to you. Or maybe it is to write a prayer in a journal with the expectation that you will soon be able to record God’s answer to that prayer.

As I sit here and write, I am aware of his presence and it stirs me. It makes me more keenly aware of how I traipse through my days unaware of his indwelling Spirit. I get too busy and it feels like he gets left behind in my rush to accomplish daily duties. But he isn’t gone, he is still there waiting for me to stop and think of him, if only for a moment. To breathe in his presence and to breathe out my prayer of gratitude for his mercy in my life. To quietly remember the suffering of his Son on my behalf, to experience the humility of knowing how lost I would be without him. It only takes a few moments stolen at lunch or a coffee break to thank him for his daily grace.

I write this as much for me as for others. The Psalms are filled with prayers and hymns that we can use as prayer guides. They speak to the human experience in the search for God’s presence. He is always there. We just need to take a moment and seek. When we do, we will find him. That is his promise.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dwelling in Unity

How wonderful it is, how pleasant, when brothers live together in harmony! Psalm 133:1

Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Rejoice. Change your ways. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Cor. 13:11

How hard it is sometimes to live at peace with one another. We are all so different in so many ways in personality and life experience. Yet, scripture urges us to be unified in order to work in harmony for the same goal: Extending the kingdom of God. We all have differing roles in doing kingdom work, as Paul teaches in his well known analogy of the body parts (1 Cor. 12). We all need each other, different as we are.

In the same chapter of 1Cor., Paul wrote that God has given each of us different gifts to serve him, and he has also given people as gifts to the church for the purpose of equipping the saints to do the work. All of the spiritual gifts and the gifts of people are to work in harmony. Nothing disrupts kingdom work more than division among God’s people. That is why Paul wrote about it. He knew that things that divide could crop up and undo all that has been accomplished. How Satan loves that.

We are not cookie cutter people. In other words, we are not exactly the same. There are personality conflicts. There are differences of opinion about matters of theology and church governance. There are differences in thought about whether or not infant baptism is valid, if one is sprinkled or dunked. There are myriad issues that can divide and all grieve God when it causes splits in the church. But one thing is clear, we are to love one another and respect one another as well as the authority of those who have been appointed to lead the church. In Hebrews the author writes: Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. (13 :17)

Why do I write about this? Because I sometimes don’t agree with the leadership God has placed over me. But I am convinced that all leadership comes from God and therefore I am to pray for the leaders in my life from the President to my boss, to my pastor, to the elders and trust that God will use them to shape me into the person he has called me to be. If it were easy to always live in harmony, we’d never grow in appreciation and respect and love for one another. As it is, when I disagree, it is a chance for me to learn submission, something that definitely does not come naturally for me. Telling the truth in love means being gentle, approaching in private and doing all that can be done to be reconciled. Depending on circumstances, sometimes being right can be wrong.

I need to look hard at myself and ask God to reveal to me where I am a cause of division and repent by cleaning up my side of the street before crossing it to reach out to my brother or sister. Humbleness goes a long way toward being in harmony. I pray that I can be humble in all my relationships, to my brothers and sisters in Christ, to my husband, my son, my coworkers at my job. To all God has placed in my life. It may not always be easy, but God gives grace to make it be so.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

An Empty Tomb

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday have passed. Today is a day of waiting for the Lord’s resurrection, though to the disciples, it was a day of agonized fear. All they thought they knew was gone. They were sure they had found the Messiah, but before their very eyes, he was cruelly murdered and they had to hide from the authorities lest they too be arrested.

Whatever they were thinking and talking about, it wasn’t hopeful. We see Saturday from a perspective that they were not able. It was not a time of expectation for them. It was a day of dread and hopelessness. I can imagine them debating what to do next, but always falling back on the tearful silence that comes when your world has fallen apart and you don’t know what to do next.

There have been times in my life when all that I thought I knew fell apart. Such a time was twenty-four years ago when I was in the last stages of alcoholism. I wanted my life to be better, but I could not see how that was possible. It was a time of utter hopelessness. I could not see a future of anything but the same futile way of living. But then a glimmer of hope was extended to me in the form of AA and I saw that a new life was within my reach.

I understand the hopelessness the disciples must have felt on that Saturday before the resurrection. My hopelessness paralleled it. But like Easter morning when the stone was rolled away and the tomb was found to be empty, my life under went a profound resurrection as well. My own form of death was overcome by a new way of living. I was given new life by the One who stepped out of the tomb 2,000 years ago and made all things new.

The grave is empty. That is why we celebrate Easter. Death and sin no longer rule, but rather life and righteousness. God has conquered death and it no longer has dominion over those who believe. We have much to rejoice about in this holy time of year.

Whatever may be a matter of hopelessness in your life, let me encourage you with the picture of a garden and two women who are on their way to anoint a dead body. As they walk there, they ask one another who will roll away the huge stone that encloses the tomb entrance. But when they arrive, rather than seeing a boulder in their path, they see an angel who asks them why they are seeking the living among the dead, that the one they seek is no longer in the grave but has risen and calls them to follow him in newness of life.

A new hope was born that day and that hope is there for all who seek it. It can never be taken away. Light has overcome darkness, life has overcome death, and joy has overcome grief. My prayer is for those who need hope, that they will find it because he is risen. He is risen indeed!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

God is good all the time

This morning while I was drying off from my shower, my back began to spasm. Every now and then, for no apparent reason, my back will go into painful spasms and I am in agony. I quickly did some stretching exercises to head it off, but it is only in a "when you least expect it I will get you" mode. I am praying that it not lock up for days which can happen.

There have been times when circumstances in my life seem to do the same thing: sneak up on me and cause pain. There appears to be no particular reason why some things happen out of the blue. A car accident, a sudden illness, an unexpected expense, a quarrel that seems to come out of nowhere. Where is God in those events?

My pastor has a phrase she uses frequently: "if God is in it, then it's all good." The assumption being that God is present at all times and in all places and therefore is in every area and aspect of our lives, the good and what seems bad at the moment. The reason why all things work out for good is that God himself is good and lives in every believer. Our lives are a journey that sometimes includes trials of various sorts and though at the time we may feel pain, nevertheless, God's presence assures us that in the end, all will be well. Like the old adage, "all is well that ends well," God promises that we will look back on our lives and see how all the times of our lives add up to joy and peace, even that which was painful at the time.

And if God is present in all events that touch us, then nothing is happenstance. All things work together, the seemingly mundane as well as the momentous events. Day to day living, in a walk with God that can be wild and scary at times, but in the end is worth it.

In the big picture, my back spasm isn't of eternal consequence. It is a frustrating condition that I have to live with and I can choose to complain or I can choose to thank God for medications that ease my suffering. It's a tiny step in character development. I will do some more stretches and take medicine if it hurts too much. And I will thank God that he is near me in all that happens, good and not so good. All is well that ends well.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Resting in the Lord

I took a “mental health day” this past week. Now and then I need one to keep from allowing emotions to run amok. I am grateful to have a job where I can take off on occasion and a boss who agrees that a break now and then is a good thing. It’s a mini vacation that helps me step back from the demands of the job and take a breather to relax.

We all need some time now and then to relax and renew. Life can be demanding and we need mental play time to stay fresh and on top of things. Jesus knew this when he called his disciples away from the presence of the crowds that formed wherever he went. He understood that the demands of ministry could be draining and that unless the disciples rested and got filled up again, they would be running on empty and that would diminish the effectiveness of their work. Jesus also needed break time, though it was often interrupted, and he spent hours in prayer, away from everyone. It was his way of recharging.

Ministry is demanding. But we need to remember that it’s not just Jesus and the disciples. It’s not just the pastor, or the elders or deacons. It’s us. We all have a ministry that the Lord has assigned us. And unless we take breaks now and then, we wear down and lose our focus then things suffer. Maybe it shows up as a stressed marriage or strained relationships with children. Maybe it’s a stumble on the straight and narrow in the workplace where gossip and backbiting flourish. Maybe it’s not praying daily for others. We have ministries that God has given us, but we can only keep pouring ourselves out for so long, and then we need to regroup and rest or we lose sight of what matters most.

This week, try to step back, if only briefly, and catch your breath. You will be a better husband or wife, a better parent and friend. You’ll be a better witness and find greater desire to pray and read the word if you allow yourself to take time to relax and renew. How you do that is unique to you. Read, listen to music, prepare a new recipe, or take a walk. Just stop for a while and let God fill you up again so you will be ready for what lies ahead each day. Ministry is a gift, but so is rest.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

To Everything There is a Season

The first time I heard the words, “To everything there is a season” it was a song sung by the Byrds in the ‘60s (I’m dating myself). I just loved the song. I had no idea that the lyrics came right out of the Bible. Years later, I found them in the 3rd chapter of Ecclesiastes. The verses speak of changing seasons. Our lives are a constant ebb and flow of changes. There are seasons of sitting, of predictability, but they don’t last.

The author of those verses understood that God was present in all seasons. Hundreds of years later another writer would describe Jesus as the same yesterday, today and forever. Still another would speak of God as the Alpha and Omega. He is the firm foundation on which we can stand when everything around us is shifting.

Changes can be difficult. We resist the unknown because the familiar, even if it’s not so hot, is more comfortable. Like the Israelites, we can begin to think the past was better because change requires so much and we’d rather not go there. But even if the present is going well, God sometimes asks us to let go of the present good so he can bring about the future best. He asks us to trust. Not always an easy thing to do.

If you have never read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, I encourage you to do so. In those words you will find an outline of your life’s journey. Another ‘60s anthem said, “the times they are a’changing.” How very true. It’s for us to watch for God’s hand in the changes we experience. It’s there if we look.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Though Trials May Come

There are days when nothing goes right. I stub my toe getting out of bed, the toast burns, I'm late for work and customers are royal pains. These are the days that try me and I admit I don't always live up to the title Christian. It's like I'm watching myself in slow-motion and see I am about to stumble and fall, yet am powerless to stop it all from happening. Or am I?

Awhile back I watched the movie "Evan Almighty." It's a cute feel-good movie about a modern day Noah. Tucked in among all the silliness was a nugget of truth. In one scene, God (Morgan Freeman) is talking to the wife of "Noah" and listens as she pours out her frustrations and fears. In response, he tells her that when we pray for courage God doesn't just give us courage, rather he gives us opportunity to be courageous. When we ask for patience, the chance comes to demostrate patience. That scene made me cry because he spoke it so kindly and I realized how true the words were. We cannot live by the strength of Holy Spirit or demonstrate his nature without trials.

Days like today were tailor made for the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to the world through us. It is when demands increase and stress abounds that we have opportunity to let him show his character through us. Do we get it right every time? No, at least I don't, but eventually we do. He keeps giving us chances to grow. James 1:2-4 says, "My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing."

Some trials are life and death issues, like a cancer diagnosis, a lost job, the death of a loved one, and others are simply everyday stresses that have worn us down. But the words of James applies equally in all trials. While we are in the world, God grants opportunites for us to learn to be like Jesus everyday of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. He also grants us the companionship and fellowship of other believers who walk with us through the trials that come our way.

Regardless of how our days/lives are going, God has promised to uphold us and extend his grace so we may bear the burdens and show ourselves children of our Father. We are not alone. Praise God for his great mercy and wisdom! May you know the love and grace of God that surpasses all understanding in all your trials today.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Partaking of the Spirit

Today I participated in the sacrament of Holy Communion. It is a ritual my church observes monthly. While Protestants in general partake of it as a remembrance of the death of Christ, my Lutheran roots have never left me and it is so much more than that to me. There is something mysterious and almost mystical in the partaking of the Lord's Supper. The Holy Spirit is present in the elements, dispensing the grace of God in a very real and tangible way. I cannot receive the broken bread and the fruit of the vine without feeling the presence of grace in my life. I am a sinner and in need of God's gift of salvation extended through the body and blood of Jesus. Communion reminds me of that every time I take it.

Holy Communion is a means by which God's gift of salvation is made evident for all to see. In the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the cup, we proclaim Christ's death until he returns. It is the recalling to mind that it is only through Christ's death that we can be forgiven our sins. There had to be death before there could be resurrection. Holy Communion is the visible sacrament that shows forth the inestimable cost of salvation that was paid for us sinners to secure our salvation. In partaking of the sacrament, we can enter into his presence intimately because he is found in the elements. The gift of grace is received anew and in that we have the forgiveness of sins and the assurance of salvation.

Whatever your faith tradition is, communion should be a time of reflection on your need for cleansing from sin and need of salvation. Regardless of how we have fallen short, God's grace restores us time and again. Communion is his means of conveying that wondrous truth and assures our hearts of his unfailing love. Because of that, I take every opportunity to partake of communion. I need the grace that is made evident in that sacrament. My prayer is all who participate would sense the renewal and restoration that flows from the Holy Spirit. It is his free gift to all who come to his table of mercy.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

All things considered

For some time now I have considered blogging, but I was reluctant to do so for several reasons, chief of which is that I'm not certain I have very much to say that is of interest to those who read blogs. I also am not sure I can keep a blog up-to-date or relevant to readers. I also am reluctant to do something just because everyone is doing it. Having said all that, I have decided that I will take the plunge and write about the things that are important to me, and hopefully will strike others as important. I will not be political and will probably be pedestrian at times, but I will do my best to write well and to write about that which matters most: a life of faith in Jesus Christ. I doubt I will write daily, but when I do write, it will be a written testimony of my faith travels and travails, some of which will be familiar to readers from their own journeys. If I can spread hope and insight, then I will have done well in doing this. I invite readers to give feedback and share their stories as well. We can all learn from each other, indeed God intends that. So, here it is, my first blog. I hope to write more soon.