Merry Christmas

It’s Christmas Eve and I am ready for tomorrow. The tree is trimmed, presents are wrapped, my part of the dinner complete. All is ready to go. I am also ready for our family tradition that we have followed since Matthew was about three years old; old enough to begin sitting still to hear a story, so we began reading a story each Christmas before we did anything else.

The story isn’t a long one, and not complicated so a little one can follow it easily. And it’s found in the home of Christians, and some non Christians, actually. Every Christmas, Will gets a bible and looks up the book of Luke, second chapter, and reads the story of the coming and birth of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t take very long at all, and we sit quietly and listen to the words he reads, letting our hearts pause and wonder over what God did, the miracle of what happened over 2,000 years ago.

The giving of gifts, the traditional cinnamon rolls and other traditions and activities that follow are fun and we have a joyous day. But of all we observe and do on the holy day of Christmas, that pause, that sacred time we share as a family is the most meaningful of all.

My precious son maybe in faraway places after next year and the tradition won’t be complete unless by some miracle he will be able to be home. The Army will determine where he will spend his Christmases from now on. Even now tears are falling and it is hard to type. But it is my prayer and hope that wherever he is, he might think about opening his bible and reading the story about his Savior’s birth, and that in the future when he has his own family, he will carry on the tradition.

I hope each family will take time to remember as they gather around the table to pray grace, to thank God for that as well as the food. It’s easy to over look that in the hustle and bustle of the day’s activities. Make a tradition something to remember the miracle of the incarnation as a part of your Christmas celebration.

May this Christmas be blessed and filled with you for all.

A Peaceful and Joyful Advent

It’s Christmas time and this year I am amazingly not depressed, at least not yet, and hopefully that caveat will not be prophetic. The holidays have always triggered the depressive side of the bipolar and I have always struggled to keep a smile on my face and act jolly like all the rest of the season’s revelers. This past year has been markedly stable thanks to medications that have finally been fine tuned. There have been some rough patches along the way, but for the most part, I can look back and be thankful for the overall balance I have experienced.

Even church has been good. In the past it has always been a place of stress and not a place of joy and refuge. All the extra demands of the season create anxiety instead of peace, stress and not joy. It’s the same with family gatherings. I love my family, but they are not easy to be with. While I was somewhat down at Thanksgiving over Matthew’s absence, I found the time with them to be a little less stressful than in the past.

I have been thinking about why this is the case. Yes, much of it is due to medications. I am so grateful I live in an age where medicine has advanced to the point that it has and there are treatments available now that truly help. I thank the One who has given us the creativity to invent those medicines and cause them to work.

But the whole of it is because of the Prince of Peace whom this season is all about. God is merciful and loving beyond what we can even begin to comprehend. It is his abounding grace that has given me the peace I have earnestly sought. It is the peace of Jesus, the peace that passes all understanding that has entered my heart this Christmas.

The Spirit of Christ lives within each believer and brings the fruit of peace and joy, but I don’t always manifest them in my life. But God in his great wonderful mercy extends his grace and touches us in unexpected ways at unpredictable times. He doesn’t announce himself, the Spirit just moves and we are moved along with him.

This Advent season, I hope I will continue to anticipate his coming into my life once again in a new and fresh way. The angels proclaimed the good news about the birth of Jesus and expressed great joy on behalf of mankind. I will join in this year remembering that he came for me. That alone should bring peace and joy.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

It’s Thanksgiving Day and like most people I know, my family will be gathering together to enjoy a meal celebrating the day we set aside to give thanks for the things we are grateful for. We will go around the table and each one of us will say something we are grateful for. Every year I wrestle with it and always end up saying “friends and family” because it sounds good and you can’t go wrong with it even if the last three people used it. I could say I am thankful for my job, which I am, but one of my family members is unemployed and that would be like adding insult to injury.

I could say I am thankful for Jesus dying on the cross for me, but that would be way too preachy to a brother-in-law who has been taking baby steps for years toward God and for whom I pray like the dickens. The last thing I want to do right now is drive a wedge in between them. But, though I have an infinite number of things for which I am grateful, including friends, family and Jesus, I am also grateful for something I had kind of forgotten about until recently when an opportunity came to be a guest speaker at an AA meeting.

I admit it’s been a while since I was last at an AA meeting. I have no excuses. I guess it’s because the desire to drink left so long ago I think I don’t need them. But out of the blue, an AA friend from years ago called us and asked if we would be speakers for a month long 12 steps panel meeting. I agreed, then realized the terrible truth, I no longer remembered them. It had been so long since I read my big book or been to meetings that I had forgotten the 12 steps that saved my life.

Quickly reviewing them each week before I spoke stirred up memoires for me and I was able to share my experiences about working the steps. I succeeded in doing what I had been asked to do and a funny thing happened to me. I realized how much I missed AA meetings. And I realized just how much my life has changed over the years because of AA and not drinking. The life I lead now is radically differently than the life I once led. I would not trade my worst day now for the best day I had then. I am filled with gratitude beyond words for the life God has so graciously given me. His plan is amazing!

I know what I am going to say today. I will say I am thankful for family and friends, but I am also going to say I am grateful that the life I lead today is not the life I once led. It may leave them scratching their heads, but I will say it because it’s true. I am grateful that God stepped into my life 26 years ago and saved me from certain death from addiction and I have never been the same. It is Happy Thanksgiving!

The Dry Spell

It has been a very long time since I last posted, too long. My goal is to post twice a month, but July and August came and went and I was silent. I can’t give a reason for it. I don’t have one. Sometimes, I just don’t have anything worthwhile to say. I hope that isn’t the case today.

I am in a dry season in my walk with God. I am doing what I need to be doing, but it feels like I am just going through the motions. I have been in this place before. It’s not a fun place to be. Nothing seems to excite me all that much. We have new co-pastors at my church and while I am really happy about it, all the same, I feel a spiritual blank.

I don’t like this place. It feels like my prayers are only going as high as the ceiling and then bouncing back down, never reaching the throne of grace. They seem to go unheard and unanswered. I feel bad for those for whom I pray because my prayers aren’t helping them at all. God is too far away to hear them. I don’t know where He has gone, but He’s nowhere near me. It’s a hopeless place to be.

It’s how I feel, but is it the truth? I am a very emotional person who tends to go by feelings rather than logic. It’s just how I am wired, but a wise woman once told me that when it comes to my faith sometimes it’s better to use my head rather than my heart. She is often right and this is a time when I have to do that very thing.

The truth is God has not disappeared and left me behind. He is still present and accounted for. Nothing has changed about Him. How do I know? Because in Joshua 1:5 it says, “I will not fail you nor forsake you” There are other books of the bible that convey the same message. If I use my head rather than my feelings in this instance, I can believe that even though He feels so far away, He is nearby, the Holy Spirit never leaving me.

I don’t know how long I will be in this place, but I can remind myself that God has not abandoned me. I am not cut off. I am not alone. It may feel like it, but the truth will keep me while I am in this place. This time of testing will grow my faith soon I will feel His presence once again.

Needing a Makeover?

As I write this my living room is being painted. The kitchen is finished and it looks great. I got a bit of a rush when I walked in there this morning. It is a totally different room. It’s brighter and more inviting. It’s just as I had envisioned and it makes me feel brighter, too.

How we look to the world around us matters. Just as my walls needed a makeover, sometimes we need a makeover, too. It is important how we present ourselves to those we encounter. I’m not talking about changing clothes, though modesty should be considered when in public view. I am talking about our outward attitude as we show ourselves to the world, what people see.

I am guilty of showing a bad attitude at times. I just get up on the wrong side of the bed and my general deportment is one of irritability. I complain and am short with people. My coworkers know I am a Christian and they are judging me all the time. But the real judgment is of Christ. I am his representative on earth. They see him through me and sometimes it isn’t pretty.

I have a choice each day as to how I will look in the presence of others. There are times when how we look is very hard to control. Pain and suffering from circumstances overwhelm us and smiles do not come readily. I do not speak to that. I speak of the normal day to day attitudes we have, the ones we really can choose to exhibit. The truth is I can choose to go with a bad attitude, or I can pray and make the real effort to put a smile on my face. When I make the effort to try and be pleasant I find that a better attitude will always follow. There is a total makeover.

Today I am feeling good and it shows, but tomorrow could be a whole different story. I will have to make a choice as to whether I let a negative attitude rule the day, or ask for grace and go with the positive. I really need a makeover now and then because people are watching. So, I will put on the garment of praise and be sure the Jesus seen in me will be one of love, joy and peace, because it matters.

Let Freedom Ring

I posted this last year, but I went back, reread it, and felt I should post it again for this year. I hope everyone is grateful on the 4th for the freedoms we all too often take for granted. God has been good to America.


It’s Independence Day and to be honest, I’m not all that excited. As a child, the 4th of July was next to Christmas and birthdays in terms of anticipation. I could barely contain my enthusiasm for firecrackers, bottle rockets and sparklers. Every year I’d get burned a bit by careless handling of punks and sparks from the sparklers inevitably caught some skin, but nothing that a wild tomboy couldn’t deal with. I was too engrossed with blowing up things to care about a burn or two.

Though my “adultness” keeps me from too much excitement, the fact is if handed some firecrackers, I’d be looking for an empty tin can to blow into the air. There is something about blowing things up that appeals to some lower nature in me. I don’t know whether or not that is something I should confess, but it’s on paper now. So as I sip a cup of coffee and listen to the sounds of fireworks going off in my neighborhood, I cannot help but remember the Independence Days of my childhood.

As a kid, I knew the hoopla was a celebration of the day the Declaration of Independence was signed. I had to know that much to make it through school. There was always rousing band music and flags waving, and of course, fireworks. It was a time when I was in awe of uniforms and ceremony and very proud that I could say my dad was in the Air Force. It was a childish patriotism, but everyone felt that way. I was surrounded by people who revered the flag and all the protocol that is entailed when handling it. The flag was almost holy. Each school morning, we’d face the flag, put our right hands over our hearts and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I could recite it along with the Lord’s Prayer. The two may have been the same in my understanding. Somehow, God seemed American to me and the USA was the best country in the world.

A lot has changed in the world from the years when I was busily blowing up things. I’ve learned that the flag is not sacred, the Pledge of Allegiance causes controversy, and the USA is not liked by many. And God is not an American. Never was. I am though. In spite of questionable leadership and corrupt government, injustice and inequality, racism and violence, there is still something that causes me to choke back tears when I hear the national anthem. Maybe it’s just a conditioned response, but I doubt it. I can see that with all its many flaws, America is still blessed with much good: abundant resources, wealth, opportunity, and countless generous and caring people. I may not always like how my government acts, but I live in a nation where I can say that and not fear.

So maybe I was wrong to say I’m not too excited today. I am an American. I am proud that I was an Air Force brat, that my father served his country for 25 years. I am proud that my son is a cadet at West Point and serves his country in the military. I am proud that my husband is a Vietnam veteran. I am proud of the young men and women serving overseas in harm’s way. But I am also proud to be in a land where people serve others everyday in soup kitchens and missions; of those who work for justice and equality; of teachers in classrooms; police officers and firefighters; honest government employees; and all the ordinary folks who get up, go to work, pay taxes, give to their churches and drop money in the Salvation Army buckets each December. I live in a nation where creativity is allowed to flourish and dissension is permitted. I live in a country where people from all walks of faith may gather and worship freely. I live in America and I’m proud of it. And it’s all because some very brave people put pen to paper over two hundred thirty years ago and began a grand experiment in democracy and freedom.

I guess I am excited after all.

Trusting Through Trials

It’s been a while since I posted, which bothers me because I want to be consistent with posting at least twice a month. Writer’s block. It happens now and then and it is frustrating for me. I try to write, but inspiration doesn’t come readily, so this may be a bit stilted.

I have several people in my life who are in need of a lot of prayer right now and I have been praying daily for them. I have been praying hard because I am passionate about their needs being resolved. But nothing seems to be happening and they continue to suffer. God seems to be doing nothing to lift their burdens and I have reached the point where I am questioning why He is so far away and doing nothing for them. In fact, I am a little angry about it. I am beseeching Him and have others praying. Nothing.

There are times when God seems to leave our prayers unanswered. We are left with burdens and circumstances that are difficult to cope with. Sometimes trials are heartbreaking and painful and we cry out for help, but are left to deal with things on our own. I think I am not alone when it comes to questioning God and even getting angry with Him. His silence and inaction are unfathomable.

But is He really ignoring our prayers? Scripture makes it clear that God always listens to our prayers, no matter what we say and how we say it. The question really is why He allows circumstances to continue, sometimes for long periods. I am no theologian, but I think I have at least a partial understanding of what He is doing. I believe He is preparing the answer for us that will come at the designated time. When and where that will happen, we do not know, but in the meantime He allows trials to shape us, to mold us to be more like Jesus in becoming stronger, more patient and more compassionate.

Trials are painful and we want them to end immediately, but we must allow the time it takes for the desired result to be made permanent. God’s wisdom and actions are unknowable for now. We have to continue to believe in His goodness and love toward us. Learning to trust Him is the ultimate goal, to believe He has our best interest at heart. When I get angry it’s because I have yet to gain that understanding.

I know I will have to go through trials as I walk on the earth. Jesus faced them in His time on earth. God allows them for us, too, because the servant is not greater than the Master, but like the Master we will be in the end. I will continue to plead for my friends because prayer is never wasted, but I will have to understand that God answers prayer in His time and in His way. All I can do is trust.

Suffering in Life

I am writing this with a brain that has been sleep deprived for a week now and I did not sleep a wink last night. I was just not able to function at work, not even the most basic of my job duties, and my psychiatrist wants me to take a couple days off while we try a new medication and to somehow get the rest I desperately need. I have a job and a boss that permits me to do just that, so I am home writing a blog entry that may not make any sense.

I have been trying to stay as positive as I can be which isn’t easy. What little sleep I get I have been saying thank you to God for, rather than complaining to him. It’s been a challenge to do so because I feel terrible. I don’t understand why this is a condition I live with that so adversely affects me.

I don’t understand much about suffering, in fact, I don’t understand it all. I know people personally who suffer so much more than I do with my bipolar disorder. As bad as I feel, I know there are millions more whose lives are so much more challenging than mine. They are suffering far worse and I don’t know why God permits it.

The bible records the questioning of Job, a man who suffered some of the worst anguish a person can experience and he started out like me, trying to honor God in the midst of his suffering. But he finally reached his breaking point and began questioning God, demanding an answer. I have read it multiple times and each time I come away with the feeling that God really doesn’t answer his question directly. But God does indeed answer.

The answer to Job’s questioning was a rebuke couched in a declaration of God’s greatness and sovereignty. Simply said, God is the Creator and Ruler of all things and what he chooses to permit is his divine right and we are not given insight into his thinking in the life we now live. Revelation will come when we see him face to face.

In the meantime, the way we are to cope with suffering is to reach out with love, compassion and practical help to those who suffer. Encouraging and aiding in any way that we can by the giving of our lives, our grace and our resources. It is not easy to be an encourager when you are the one suffering and sometimes we are called on to do just that. Other times we are the ones to receive.

While I don’t really understand suffering, I can trust God’s goodness. I can continue to offer up thanks for what he has given me. God does not overlook the suffering of his children and in time when we see him, we will receive what is precious beyond all understanding. What that is we do not know, but it is a sure promise. So let’s be about the ministry of God and trust him to sort it all out in the end. God is good all the time.

Blessings in Abundance

Today is my birthday and it’s all I could ask for: a beautiful day of sunshine and perfect temperature. I just came home from shopping and updated my wardrobe which was sorely needed. My husband chauffeured me around and we will go to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. I couldn’t ask for a better day.

As I write this I realize how very blessed I truly am. I have been thanking God all day in my heart for another year of life, and one that I can look back on and feel pretty good about. But I also need to thank him for the very fact that I was able to go shopping and spend the money I did. I am blessed with a job when many others are not. I am blessed with a house when there are literally at least a million people or more who are living either in tents or out in the elements because of natural disaster or war.

I am blessed with clean water to shower in, let alone drink, when so many have to haul water daily and it’s not even clean, so illnesses that are preventable are rampant. I am blessed with a healthy body when so many live with illness and conditions which incapacitate. I did nothing to be blessed like I am. It has been given to me.

I ask myself why? Why me? All that comes to mind is the scripture verse that says to whom much is given, much is expected in return. All that I have was not given to me just to enjoy myself. God has given me what he has and expects me to give in return. I confess I have not done as much as I ought. There are many ways I could be volunteering, but I haven’t done much in that regard. There are needs in the community where I live. I do write checks for causes, but I could do without some of the things I enjoy in order to give more. I pray, but I could spend much more time in prayer for the needs of others.

God has blessed many people in this world, and some give generously in numerous ways, and some hoard it for themselves. In the end, there will be an accounting. It will be based on to whom much is given, much will be expected. I don’t want to hang my head in shame for all the ways I could have given but did not. If God grants me another year, I plan to spend it differently than in the past. God willing, the blessings he has bestowed on me will not be squandered, but spent wisely, pleasing him and helping others.

Doing My Laundry

I am writing this in my pajamas because I have no clean jeans to wear and have to wait on my laundry to finish before I go public. I really should have done some before now instead of letting it all pile up, but I just let it go and now I am stuck and errands I need to run are being delayed.

It can be like that with our spiritual lives as well. We can let sins and attitudes build up without taking proper steps to deal with them immediately. We hang onto certain sins because they are pleasurable rather than taking them to God and seeking help to overcome them. There are always consequences when we don’t let go of sins and negative attitudes in whatever fashion they may come. Losing the sense of closeness to God and to others is first and foremost, and our sense of well-being is lost. We do harm to others, too, in our reluctance to deal with sin right away. Racism is one example of the consequence of harboring sin, so are violence and infidelity and a thousand other consequences, big and small.

I could make an endless list, but that is not what this is about. It is about letting sins pile up and then expecting no negative consequences. When Jesus walked among us, he repeatedly said to repent because the Kingdom of God was at hand. But he knew that it would be impossible for us to do that without help, so God provided it in the form of the Holy Spirit. The death and resurrection of Christ made the way for salvation and opened our hearts for the presence of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is our Motivator to deal with sin, but we sometimes ignore the promptings to our peril, be it little or great.

My laundry is just an inconvenience in the big picture of life, but it is a reminder to me to not let the more important things go as if it doesn’t matter. It does and I would do well to heed the lesson. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I will bring my sins and negative attitudes to God for forgiveness promptly and not let them pile up. Jesus paid the price so I could do just that, so it’s time now to get my spiritual laundry taken care of.

The Guilt Trap

I am home today having taken a day of sick leave. I rarely take one, mainly because I am a healthy person, but also because I feel guilty when I do. I always have. I have earned a lot of sick days and should use them if I need to, but I just feel guilty when I do.

Sometimes I can feel guilt over other things that I really shouldn’t. Things for which scripture says I no longer need to. Guilt that is misplaced and unnecessary and I know I am not alone. Christians sometimes feel guilt when they should not.

Guilt is a form of bondage that holds us hostage and interferes with our spiritual lives and our emotions. I feel guilty when I sin, but that is a proper guilt and I rush to ask forgiveness, but guilt should stop then and there. Sometimes, it doesn’t. Sometimes I cannot let go of the feeling regardless of what scripture says. I tend to view sin as having differing levels in my life and God will judge them accordingly. Some sins are worse than others and the more I think about a sin, the greater the guilt. I think others feel that way, too, at times.

What we forget is that our sins were judged at the cross and have been forever stricken from the book of our lives. Only what we do now for Jesus matters. Guilt over what has been forgiven interferes with our communion with God and causes an emotional response that depresses and can even induce fear. We get trapped in it so easily, living with guilt that is no longer our due. God must grieve over it, knowing he has done all so we could live free from its torment and bondage.

When in that place, I talk to other believers who can extend God’s grace to me, to be accepting of me so I can accept that God has truly forgiven and there is no record of my wrongs. The pain of guilt is real and I find when others stand in for God and extend the grace needed it eases the pain.

Just as Jesus was the face of God when he was here, so too, are believers. As his representatives, we have the power to offer God’s grace to our brothers and sisters, and to remind once again that he has forever removed the guilt of our sin. It is done.

Strength in Numbers

One thing I have not really shared about is my fear of crowds. Being with a lot of people in close proximity can induce a panicky response. I simply cannot be in those situations if at all possible. When there are a lot of people in the building I work in, I feel anxious. I get anxious when I go to the grocery store because it is a rather confined space with a lot of people. My husband goes with me. When he is with me, I don’t have that feeling most of the time. I think I feel that things are under control and will be okay. I also have medication for panic.

The presence of the Holy Spirit is really at work in this. It is his presence that I sense through my husband. Would it be better if I could just go it alone without the panic? Probably so, but there is a lesson in this. God doesn’t intend for us to be Lone Rangers when it comes to our spiritual life. The bible says that it’s better for two to be together because if one falls down, the other is there to pick him up. Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs. There was a need for them to be together and not be on their own.

There is indeed strength in numbers because we all have differing capacities and gifts. Where one is weak, the other is strong, and we all have our weaknesses both physical and spiritual. Sometimes we cannot pray as we need to, others are there to pick up the slack. Sometimes a difficult decision needs to be made and others are there to counsel us. Simply put, we need each other to walk through this world we temporarily abide in, too much is at stake.

I don’t know if my fear of crowds will ever go away, but God has made provision for me and he has made provision for all his children to compensate for our weaknesses. He has done so by giving us each other. The body of Christ is beautiful, peopled by those who love Jesus and seek to be like him, growing together in grace. Like it says in the song Jesus Loves me, I am weak, but he is strong, and he makes his strength present to us as the Holy Spirit shows himself through all.

The Pruning Process

I have houseplants, I think most people do. I’ve always had them because they brighten the atmosphere with their life, something lovely living with me. They of course require care; they are totally dependent on me. They let me know when they need water by their drooping leaves and then I take care of their need.

One thing I also take note of is dead leaves. They need pruning and I am faithful to do that when I become aware of them. They spoil the loveliness of the plants and I want to see them look their best, to bring beauty into the room where they are placed.

Like the plants, we need pruning, too. Just as I see the need and prune, God takes note of the things, attitudes and behaviors in our lives that diminish the beauty he has created. I really don’t know if my plants sense that I am pruning them, but I can recognize when I am being pruned, because it can sometimes be painful when he cuts away the things that mar and impede his presence. The face and attitudes we show the world need to be real, genuinely Christ-like: his love, grace and mercy. He diligently cuts away the dead way of living, the things we cling to that cause us to stumble.

My plants don’t have a choice when I prune them and neither do we, but the end result is worth it. The loveliness is restored for awhile. I say for awhile because more pruning will be necessary, and so it is with us. Until the day we are called home, the pruning process will continue and we should be glad for that. We are slowly being transformed and the final result will be endless beauty.

Pruning is not pleasant, but it is necessary. When you feel the pain of things being stripped away, remind yourself that you are becoming more as Jesus was when he walked among us and becoming more as he is now as well, to which we should say, “prune away, prune away.”

Simple Support

As I write this, I am sick. I don’t know what I am sick with, but I have some sort of crud, and I feel pretty crummy. I won’t go into details because sick talk is not permissible with many. It makes us uncomfortable somehow, but it shouldn’t because there are those ill who need their brothers and sisters in Christ to help them walk with the burden of illness that goes beyond the basic sickness I have today.

Some of my close friends have major illnesses and if I had not been open to hearing, they would be without my support. Cancer and other catastrophic illnesses are hard to hear about for those who do not face such giants in their lives, but not as hard as it is to hear those words when you are the one being diagnosed. Perhaps in some parts of society talking about illness is unacceptable, but among those in the body of Christ, that should never be the case.

Those who call themselves Christians should always have open arms, open minds and hearts for those who have serious illnesses. To hear the word cancer is frightening for the one diagnosed as well as the ones who love them. To have to talk about it is awkward at first. “I’m so sorry, I will pray for you,” seems terribly inadequate, but saying those words is a start to being a support system for those whose lives have just been upended by an unexpected and unwelcome diagnosis. Those who are facing difficult battles seek support, sometimes with desperation, and knowing prayer is being offered can be a balm for troubled and fearful hearts. Greater support can be offered as we talk about the illness and how it is affecting the one with it. But we have to be willing to talk about it and not shy away. Sometimes, the greatest support comes in the form of a listening ear.

I may be feeling poorly today, but I know there are those just within my immediate circle who are facing illness that isn’t going to go away in a couple of days. I want to be there for them. Maybe all I am able to do is pray, but that is no small thing in the eyes of God who tags us to come to the side of those in distress and hold them up, to be the support they need to cope with the previously unimaginable.

It goes with being a Christian. It’s called love.

The Winters of Our Lives

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

The words to the old hymn are so true, winter feels endless right now, and for some, their emotional state is bleak. I feel that way at times. The frequent absence of the sun and the cold winds bring me down. I long for spring to come and end this bleak season.

We have seasons in our lives as well and spiritual winters come to us. For reasons unknown, God ordains seasons in our lives and in the winters, the presence of God is absent and we feel abandoned, at least I do. God seems more than a million miles away, I wonder if he is even in the same universe.

But the truth is God has gone no where, his “hibernation” is only temporary to cause us to seek him with passion and fervor. There have been times when I have literally cried my prayers during my winters. It’s a passionate seeking of him, a deep desire to regain seemingly lost communion with him.

Jesus felt abandoned on the cross. It was a winter far beyond what we ever go through. But the result was a promise of an endless summer of his presence, of our beauty and glory because of his death and resurrection, an eternal end to the winters in our lives.

Life will go through a continual cycle until his return for us. We will have bleak winters and summers of abounding joy and growth. But he never abandons us, he is always there, and the promise of his everlasting presence is sure. Look forward to spring. It’s coming and again, we will grow and flourish as the hibernation of his presence ends and joy is ours once more.