It has been a very long time since I last posted, too long. My goal is to post twice a month, but July and August came and went and I was silent. I can’t give a reason for it. I don’t have one. Sometimes, I just don’t have anything worthwhile to say. I hope that isn’t the case today.
I am in a dry season in my walk with God. I am doing what I need to be doing, but it feels like I am just going through the motions. I have been in this place before. It’s not a fun place to be. Nothing seems to excite me all that much. We have new co-pastors at my church and while I am really happy about it, all the same, I feel a spiritual blank.
I don’t like this place. It feels like my prayers are only going as high as the ceiling and then bouncing back down, never reaching the throne of grace. They seem to go unheard and unanswered. I feel bad for those for whom I pray because my prayers aren’t helping them at all. God is too far away to hear them. I don’t know where He has gone, but He’s nowhere near me. It’s a hopeless place to be.
It’s how I feel, but is it the truth? I am a very emotional person who tends to go by feelings rather than logic. It’s just how I am wired, but a wise woman once told me that when it comes to my faith sometimes it’s better to use my head rather than my heart. She is often right and this is a time when I have to do that very thing.
The truth is God has not disappeared and left me behind. He is still present and accounted for. Nothing has changed about Him. How do I know? Because in Joshua 1:5 it says, “I will not fail you nor forsake you” There are other books of the bible that convey the same message. If I use my head rather than my feelings in this instance, I can believe that even though He feels so far away, He is nearby, the Holy Spirit never leaving me.
I don’t know how long I will be in this place, but I can remind myself that God has not abandoned me. I am not cut off. I am not alone. It may feel like it, but the truth will keep me while I am in this place. This time of testing will grow my faith soon I will feel His presence once again.
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Psa. 34:15 The eyes of the LORD are UPON THE RIGHTEOUS, AND HIS EARS ARE OPEN unto their cry.
Psa. 63:1 O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; 2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. 3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. 4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I wonder if maybe it's time for some risk taking on your part; stepping back from your understandings and approaches to God and daring to explore some new or maybe challenging ideas regarding your journey.
Anyway, thanks again.
DK
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