It’s Christmas time and this year I am amazingly not depressed, at least not yet, and hopefully that caveat will not be prophetic. The holidays have always triggered the depressive side of the bipolar and I have always struggled to keep a smile on my face and act jolly like all the rest of the season’s revelers. This past year has been markedly stable thanks to medications that have finally been fine tuned. There have been some rough patches along the way, but for the most part, I can look back and be thankful for the overall balance I have experienced.
Even church has been good. In the past it has always been a place of stress and not a place of joy and refuge. All the extra demands of the season create anxiety instead of peace, stress and not joy. It’s the same with family gatherings. I love my family, but they are not easy to be with. While I was somewhat down at Thanksgiving over Matthew’s absence, I found the time with them to be a little less stressful than in the past.
I have been thinking about why this is the case. Yes, much of it is due to medications. I am so grateful I live in an age where medicine has advanced to the point that it has and there are treatments available now that truly help. I thank the One who has given us the creativity to invent those medicines and cause them to work.
But the whole of it is because of the Prince of Peace whom this season is all about. God is merciful and loving beyond what we can even begin to comprehend. It is his abounding grace that has given me the peace I have earnestly sought. It is the peace of Jesus, the peace that passes all understanding that has entered my heart this Christmas.
The Spirit of Christ lives within each believer and brings the fruit of peace and joy, but I don’t always manifest them in my life. But God in his great wonderful mercy extends his grace and touches us in unexpected ways at unpredictable times. He doesn’t announce himself, the Spirit just moves and we are moved along with him.
This Advent season, I hope I will continue to anticipate his coming into my life once again in a new and fresh way. The angels proclaimed the good news about the birth of Jesus and expressed great joy on behalf of mankind. I will join in this year remembering that he came for me. That alone should bring peace and joy.
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