Saturday, January 29, 2011

When Winter Hurts

It is the bleak mid-winter as a very old song goes. The time when everything lies in a deep freeze and the sun often is often hidden from our view. It’s a time when some people fall into deep depression and are sometimes even suicidal. It’s for those I want to speak. They need a voice because it’s easy to just tell them to buck up: “this too shall pass”.

I would venture to say that many of those who are depressed are struggling to keep it hidden. Their words are “okay” when asked how they are doing, but their actions deny it. And there are those who cannot function at all, their condition being too severe. For those who are depressed, words like : “this too shall pass” or something similar provide no help or comfort at all. In fact, they hurt. They are dismissive and for many simply untrue without medical intervention. Depression is a terrible state of mind and can lead to serious consequences.

For those who are depressed and need encouragement and hope, just letting them you are aware they are feeling down and that you care about them is one way of giving support. Ask them if there is anything you can do for them, and if you know them well, ask if they have considered seeing a doctor because that is really what they need to do. Yes, winter will go away, and there are those who will get better and no longer need medication, but depression is a serious illness that needs attention.

Telling someone that depression will just pass is like playing with fire. You don’t know if it will cause a larger fire to take hold and burn something greater. So with depression, you don’t know if it could lead to suicidal ideation and someone actually taking their life. Don’t take it that to mean every case of depression will lead to that because those are the minority. But don’t dismiss those who are suffering with depression. They are in pain.

For those of the faith, encourage them to stay connected with their brothers and sisters, encourage them to continue to go to church. Encourage them to keep reading the bible and praying. And above all, be their friend. Be willing to be there and spend time with them. They need to know that people love them even when they are down. They may choose to isolate, but be there when they do reach out.

How do I know all this? Because I have been there, I have experienced the pain of depression. I spent months in a place of deep despair before getting the help I needed. I wish I had gone sooner. I simply could not take anymore and was feeling suicidal. Those dark days are over thanks to medication. So, remember in prayer those in your life who may have depression and reach out to them with words of compassion. Let them know you care and understand they hurt. God knows and has compassion beyond ours. Follow him and let him guide you as you offer help and hope to those who struggle.

2 comments:

Joy said...

You are so right in what you write. Depression is awful and sometimes saying things like it will pass, buck up, it will go away, etc. can make it hurt. We've been there and know how it is. What a good topic to have written on, for winter is a time when depression hits. Let us be compassionate and help, show empathy for those who suffer from depression for we know what it is like.

Anonymous said...

totally agree with you.

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