I published this last year. I updated it for this year, but didn't change the lessons. I decided as I read through it this morning that the experiences remained pretty much the same. I truly don't think it's because I didn't learn from them. I did, but things have stayed the same except for one thing: God kept his word when it comes to tithing faithfully. Our debts kept getting worse through unavoidable events. No fault was involved. I admit, that my fears and anxiety were heavy upon me, but I kept tithing even though our outgoing money was increasing.
Then another budget-crushing item happened and I felt we could no longer tithe. I told this to the church finance secretary. Within the month, an enormous amount of money came in and I was able to pay off all our debt. And because Will's VA disability rating was increased, we are getting more money each month. I could have never predicted this and just when I had given up hope, God proved his promises are sure. He is faithful to keep his word. He took my fear and anxiety and turned them into rejoicing. The following paragraphs are from last year:
New Year's Day is tomorrow and I'm not making any resolutions. My prior experience has taught me I rarely keep them for more than a month. Honestly, I have only made them because there is an unwritten rule in our society that we need to promise ourselves we will set goals for the coming year. A lot of folks do, but like me, they rarely keep up with whatever expectations they have placed on themselves, which leads to a degree of self-shaming, or worse leads to continued unhealthy behaviors that can get worse than they were before swearing off them.
I prefer to look back and see what I've learned in the past year. I may take those lessons to heart and by grace live by them in the coming year. One lesson I've learned this past year: I set myself up for failure when I place unrealistic expectations on myself. It's taken a long time to learn that lesson. For example, I was published in a prestigious journal this past year, and immediately I felt the bar of writing well raised exponentially. I was placing an expectation on myself to write beyond my current capabilities. What was published was written in a flash from pure inspiration. It's impossible to write at that level all the time. Writing is actually grunt work most of the time. Writing to learn to write better is what all authors do. It may be a while before I write something that good again. But I shall continue to write. No writing is ever wasted.
Trusting God to protect the people I love has been a lesson in 2023. I would like to say I've got it down pat, but that would be a questionable statement. So I will say God has protected people I love dearly this past year in spite of the true danger surrounding them. I want to trust he will do so in the coming year. Paul was stoned, whipped, and imprisoned, yet God protected him from death until his race was complete. Struck down, at times perplexed, facing the answer of "No" to some prayers, yet trusting his Savior to keep him safe to do what he was anointed to do. I must do the same, having seen God's protective providence in action.
Finally, I've learned I must be at peace about things I have no control over. Health concerns and financial difficulties, to name a couple. There are more I won't go into, but I'm called to be at peace knowing things may not improve and in fact, some will get worse and I'm powerless to stop it. God has called me to bear a burden that only he can enable me to bear. And in the midst of it, I am to be at peace. A peace that passes all understanding.
So here's to 2024. May all God's children find joy, peace, and grace to enable them to overcome the world. Jesus will return and as he asked, will he find faith?
I want to raise my hand and say here I am, I have faith.
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