“You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn’t hurt at all” so an old song goes. How true those words are. I can be kind and patient with total strangers but sharp and irritable with loved ones. I can choose words carefully with my customers, yet be careless and thoughtless with the ones closest to me. It’s frustrating for me, and too often hurtful to the ones I love most.
Scripture makes it clear that God is love and those who love him will love others. The bible also says that if we cannot love the person we see, how can we love God whom we do not see? God wants me to love consistently, to behave in loving ways consistently. It’s not that I don’t love those I sometimes hurt, it’s that my actions and words do not always reflect God’s way of loving. So what do I do about that?
I can start with prayer. Taking my short fuse and hasty tendency with words to God in prayer can help me recognize the problem and allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. God’s grace leads to gracious words even when I am tired or stressed. Just becoming aware that I am acting less than loving with those closest to me will help me stop before I go too far.
The Book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom and warnings about our words and their impact on others. We reap what we speak. That is serious stuff. Yet I still too often fall short of living by that. I doubt that I am alone. James in his letter said the tongue was like a fire out of control and that the one who can master it is truly mature as a believer.
Words have power to wound or heal. To have that kind of power at my disposal is an awesome thing and not to be taken lightly. My hope is to learn to master my words and to own my speech as one who is mature in the faith, to respect and have grace in my language given freely to the ones I love most. To always keep a reserve of kind words for the people God has given me as family and friends. I don’t want to hurt the ones I love, the ones I shouldn’t hurt at all. If I live by that goal then God will make it happen in spite of my weaknesses.
2 comments:
So true, Susan! And if people knew what was in our thoughts, it could be worse!That's why Paul also tells us to be transformed by the renewing of your minds, to think on what is good and lovely, excellent and honorable (Phil 4:8) - what will build up, not tear down. For me I must train my mind on these things FIRST, as preparation for prayer so that my prayers can grace-filled and edifying.
However, I know as well, that God covets all our prayers - even the ones where we whine and vent. I find that when I vent with God, He softens the situation with His perspective,and his love, with his grace and wisdom - if I would dare listen! But I am grateful that first he listens to me - often protecting me from saying something hurtful to another. And then He sets me straight and sends me on to love and forgive and take care of business with the ones I've hurt.
Now if I'd only remember to DO what I just said in the moment! Thanks for the wisdom Susan.
It is true. We all hurt the ones closest to us. I have been on both sides, and honestly handled them both poorly. It makes me sad that my words can cut so sharply.
Thank you.
On a different note. I have been thinking about coming out to kc some time in June. I want this visit to be solely a non-family related visit, so I can enjoy time with my friends. I need some where to stay for a few days. I wondered if it would be possible to stay with you all. I only want to see my friends and come back later in the summer and visit my family. (Matt leave sometime in July?)....
my email is margiejj1234@yahoo.com
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