All is Not Lost

It sometimes seems like I am a loser. Not in a game sense, or in a worthwhile sense. I mean there are times when I experience loss and it hurts. We all face losses throughout life. Loss of jobs, finances, health, and most painful of all, relationships with those we love most. Lately, it feels as though I have been the loser, and it’s painful.

In the past few months I’ve had to deal with loss as my only child went off to college on the east coast and that means very rarely ever seeing him. It’s not been easy to live without his presence, his laughter, and yes, even his grumblings, though they were few. Although I knew he would grow up and move out, I still wasn’t prepared for the sense of loss I have felt.

I am facing the potential loss of my longtime canine companion. He’s quite old now and his health is rapidly deteriorating. I know there are those who do not understand how people can get so wrapped up in their pets, but I will feel the loss keenly when he breathes his last which may be sooner than I had hoped. I will be expecting a wagging tail and wet nose to greet me when I come home, and he will not be there, and yes, I will cry.

But another painful loss is that of a dear friend. She is moving to the southeast and like the circumstance with my son I will rarely have the opportunity to see her now. It will feel like she’s a million miles away, and though I know we will continue to communicate, I will miss her being nearby. I already feel the loss of her presence, and it hurts.

I have to stop and ask myself where God is in all the loss we experience. To be honest, I question him at times because of it. I know we are just sojourners in this world, and we have been warned that all things of this life are temporary, but that impermanence can break hearts and leave us grieving. It seems to be the human condition. We have lived with loss ever since the first one in the garden.

I forget that God feels loss as well, more than we can understand. The paradox of knowing he doesn’t need us, yet he doesn’t want to be without us. A sense of loss that compelled him to send his Son to reclaim those lost to him. It’s what causes him to extend grace so we can know what we, too, have lost relationally with God, to comprehend in our limited capacity how great the loss was when we sinned. Without grace, we can never understand how much we stand to lose if we neglect the free gift of salvation.

He understands our other losses, too, and although I am no theologian, I can’t help but think he redraws the lines of our lives to keep us moving closer to him. He takes no pleasure in our sorrows and losses, but he will use them to transform us. He will use brokenness to strengthen us, and will turn our losses into gains.

As I write this, it doesn’t make the pain of loss lessen. And the old adage of “time heals all wounds” is a crock. Loss hurts and it always will until Jesus returns and all tears are wiped away. But even though knowing all things are temporary is painful, knowing all things are temporary is also a gift of grace. For Paul says he counts all things as loss save the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

One day, I will be forever with those I love. There no distance will impede presence and joy. Until then, I will live with the losses and the tears and know that God will restore all to what he had envisioned for us at creation. I will thank him for the love I have experienced through those he has placed in my life, those near and those far. And I will try to remember that losses are only for a season, even though they might be painful. God’s restoration will make all things new.

While we await the fullness of the promise, God will hold our hearts, minds and spirits close to him, and grieve our losses with us. And the Spirit will remind us once again that Christ lost all for us so we could gain all in him.