The holidays are past and the dreariness of winter is setting in. I know for many people, winter sometimes induces depression. Short days, cold temperatures, weak sunlight. I know it is hard for me to avoid the feeling of depression. But it is more than that for me. I am bipolar and depression and I are intimately acquainted. I also exhibit symptoms of hypomania at times—uncontrolled thoughts, inappropriate speech, anxiety, rage, spiked energy that robs me of sleep and keeps me unable to focus. I feel great for a little while, then the edginess sets in and I get highly irritable, angry and unable to control my emotions. I take medications that help. If it weren’t for them, I’d have a hard time writing this.
I have asked the question for the past several years: where is God in all this? Indeed, I would imagine that others ask that same question about circumstances that affect them as well. We all suffer at times. For me, it’s mental illness, and it will be a lifelong condition. I will be on medication the rest of my life to control it. So where is God? Why do I have to live with this condition?
When I get to the place of despair, I am reminded of Paul. He, too, had a besetting problem that he sought God to take away. He asked multiple times. But God did not, effectively saying “no” to his request. In fact, he got an answer from God: “My grace is sufficient for you.” What that looked like for Paul, we do not know. But one thing is for sure, Paul was able to carry on.
What that tells me is that God has said the same to me, because as many times as I have asked, nothing has changed. He is telling me that his grace will suffice. But he has not left me to fend for myself. His grace has made a way for me in the medicines I take. That is his answer to my need.
I will always grapple with mental illness. It has affected me all my life. But God’s grace overcomes and though I exhibit symptoms now and then, I can continue to lean on Jesus for the strength I need to live life to the fullest. I can experience God’s grace and strength in my weakness. For that I am grateful. I may not fully understand God’s plan for me, but I can follow the path he has laid out for me and rest assured he will walk with me through the journey.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
One thing that comes from your experiences is that you can identify with so many people whatever their circumstances. This gives you a particular insight that few people have. When you get in the low places, remember that you touch many people who see Christ in you because of your struggles. I certainly see Christ in you and am proud to be your brother in Christ.
Lyndon
It is very valuable phrase
I will not acquiesce in on it. I over polite post. Specially the title-deed attracted me to review the unscathed story.
Nice brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you seeking your information.
Amiable post and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you as your information.
uppitywomantwo.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.
Genial dispatch and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you for your information.
Genial brief and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you seeking your information.
Correctly your article helped me terribly much in my college assignment. Hats off to you dispatch, will look audacious in the direction of more interdependent articles soon as its one of my favourite issue to read.
wonderful share, great article, very usefull for me...thanks
Post a Comment