Today I am sad. There's no other word for it, just sad. This morning I put my son on a plane back to West Point after a week of spring break. The time flew by. Life is like that--good times rush past while dark days crawl. My sadness is a response to life's circumstances. It's not depression. Sadness, feeling blue, heartbroken, these are temporary states of mind that are based on things we cannot control. Depression is a mental condition that has no connection with external situations. It just happens. It is a physical condition of the brain. It also is long term. It's important for me to know the difference.
There are many things in life that can sadden us, just as there are those things that give us joy. I've heard it said that without the tough times, the painful times, joy is diminished. I don't like the sound of that, but there may be some truth to it. David experienced great upheavals in his life and his emotions went along for the ride. While I do not make the comparison between his life and mine, the lessons are the same. God is present no matter the circumstances, be they life threatening or far less in scope. As David sang, His rod and His staff comfort me. He leads me beside the still waters and makes me lie down in green pastures. He did for David and he does it for me.
So this time of sadness will hurt for a while. I may feel blue all week, or after hearing his voice when he calls to let us know he has made back safely, I may perk up. Regardless, the Shepherd of my soul is quietly comforting me and holding me near. He gently wipes away the tears and patiently leads me on. The still waters beckon and I will go lie down and listen for Him.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Midweek Meditation
I had occasion today to revisit the past while sharing my story with someone. It was an opportunity to give a “testimony” as they say in some churches. I felt I was supposed to tell where I had come from and the life I once led, sharing a brief history of my journey, and the stops along the way, that led to the life I now embrace.
It is always with trepidation that I tell the truth. It’s not that I lie about my past. I just choose to omit much of it for many valid reasons, and perhaps not so valid reasons. What was different today is that I came away from the experience minus the burden that often follows such a revelation: The burden of shame. Regardless of how much I have changed, and how much I understand of the power of Christ’s blood to cleanse and restore, there has always been a sense of shame that clings to me whenever I talk of my past. The level of intensity has greatly diminished over the years, yet it lingers.
Of all emotions or feelings, nothing is as deadly as shame. It is a corrosive poison that kills. It steals faith, hope, joy and peace. It destroys the spirit, soul, and even body. I cannot prove it, but I am convinced most suicides are prompted by unremitting shame. There is no burden harder to bear. Unlike the conviction of the Holy Spirit, shame does not lead to Christ-like transformation. It leads to condemnation and death.
I Peter 2:4-6, 9-10 says, “As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him—you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God though Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: See, I have laid in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trust in him will never be put to shame…But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
What a marvelous promise, but it comes with a condition. To embrace the promise, you must trust—trust in the efficacy of Jesus’ blood and sacrifice, his atonement on our behalf. It is either true or we are totally without hope. At least, I am. But I do trust. I choose to trust even though at times my head tells me otherwise. I do believe that Jesus’ death and resurrection, the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, and the incomprehensible love and grace of the Father are all I need to be free, not only from sin, but also guilt and shame.
This afternoon, my heart has been singing the refrain of an old hymn:
Grace, grace, God’s grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace, God’s grace
Grace that is greater than all our sin
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
It is always with trepidation that I tell the truth. It’s not that I lie about my past. I just choose to omit much of it for many valid reasons, and perhaps not so valid reasons. What was different today is that I came away from the experience minus the burden that often follows such a revelation: The burden of shame. Regardless of how much I have changed, and how much I understand of the power of Christ’s blood to cleanse and restore, there has always been a sense of shame that clings to me whenever I talk of my past. The level of intensity has greatly diminished over the years, yet it lingers.
Of all emotions or feelings, nothing is as deadly as shame. It is a corrosive poison that kills. It steals faith, hope, joy and peace. It destroys the spirit, soul, and even body. I cannot prove it, but I am convinced most suicides are prompted by unremitting shame. There is no burden harder to bear. Unlike the conviction of the Holy Spirit, shame does not lead to Christ-like transformation. It leads to condemnation and death.
I Peter 2:4-6, 9-10 says, “As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him—you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God though Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: See, I have laid in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trust in him will never be put to shame…But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
What a marvelous promise, but it comes with a condition. To embrace the promise, you must trust—trust in the efficacy of Jesus’ blood and sacrifice, his atonement on our behalf. It is either true or we are totally without hope. At least, I am. But I do trust. I choose to trust even though at times my head tells me otherwise. I do believe that Jesus’ death and resurrection, the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, and the incomprehensible love and grace of the Father are all I need to be free, not only from sin, but also guilt and shame.
This afternoon, my heart has been singing the refrain of an old hymn:
Grace, grace, God’s grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace, God’s grace
Grace that is greater than all our sin
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
In His Image
It’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve just had a hard time conjuring up the words to share. A blog is a journal that is shared with the world, but when I blog I try to write about the things that touch all who share faith in Christ—the things that matter most in our faith walk, the way our lives are touched by the Holy Spirit and our relations with others.
One of the things he cares about the most is how we interact with the world around us, the people whom he made in his image. The attractive as well as those who make us want to turn away, the ones who make us want to distance ourselves. I encounter both on a daily basis in the job I do. The polite and the impolite. The pleasant and those who are surly. Those who bathe regularly and those whose body odor is offensive to smell. Some are easy to offer service to while others are a challenge. But all are reflections of their creator, because all are made in his image: The rich, the poverty stricken, the healthy and those with terminal illness, the gentle and the obnoxious, those who have answered God’s call and those still wandering in darkness. And God calls us to treat all with the love of Christ. Not always an easy task.
Jesus ate with sinners, prostitutes, tax collectors; the very people who were rejected as unclean by the religious leaders of that time. He also loved those who were wealthy and enjoyed the good things of life. All were being called to salvation, and it is to all now that he extends his mercy and grace as a free gift, but we have to share that good news in how we live out our lives in the presence of all people we encounter on a daily basis. It’s a task that is demanding and daunting, yet he prepares the way before us through the working of the Holy Spirit.
We must all remember that every person we see, whether they are rich and powerful or stumbling with drunkenness, are made in the image of God and have intrinsic value—value that God confers. Enough value to call for Christ’s death on the cross. I know I sometimes struggle to carry out the Great Commission, yet that is what he has called me to do. With the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit I will do what on my own I could never do, love the unlovable as well as the lovable. May he transform me even more in his image as I live out his high calling.
One of the things he cares about the most is how we interact with the world around us, the people whom he made in his image. The attractive as well as those who make us want to turn away, the ones who make us want to distance ourselves. I encounter both on a daily basis in the job I do. The polite and the impolite. The pleasant and those who are surly. Those who bathe regularly and those whose body odor is offensive to smell. Some are easy to offer service to while others are a challenge. But all are reflections of their creator, because all are made in his image: The rich, the poverty stricken, the healthy and those with terminal illness, the gentle and the obnoxious, those who have answered God’s call and those still wandering in darkness. And God calls us to treat all with the love of Christ. Not always an easy task.
Jesus ate with sinners, prostitutes, tax collectors; the very people who were rejected as unclean by the religious leaders of that time. He also loved those who were wealthy and enjoyed the good things of life. All were being called to salvation, and it is to all now that he extends his mercy and grace as a free gift, but we have to share that good news in how we live out our lives in the presence of all people we encounter on a daily basis. It’s a task that is demanding and daunting, yet he prepares the way before us through the working of the Holy Spirit.
We must all remember that every person we see, whether they are rich and powerful or stumbling with drunkenness, are made in the image of God and have intrinsic value—value that God confers. Enough value to call for Christ’s death on the cross. I know I sometimes struggle to carry out the Great Commission, yet that is what he has called me to do. With the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit I will do what on my own I could never do, love the unlovable as well as the lovable. May he transform me even more in his image as I live out his high calling.
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