Looking Past the Stigma

I have mental illness. I am mentally ill. Both those statements are true about me, and they are jarring to read. The words mental illness conjures up stereotypes of raving lunatics, dangerous and scary. The sad truth is there is so much stigma and ignorance about mental illness. My mental illness is bipolar disorder and I know that many people don’t understand what it is and how it affects me and those around me. It is fear of the unknown that fosters the stigma that persists in spite of the education and information available to us. Most just don’t care to know about it. They live in the dark when it comes to mental illness and are oblivious to the suffering and needs of those who have mental illness.

I am not just a label, I am a person with gifts and dreams, heartaches and joys; I am someone made in the image of God. I have value and mental illness changes nothing about that. I am not dangerous. I am not a drain on society. I am able to do many of the same things others do because of those who have made it their life’s work to help, both through therapy and medications. I can be stable and productive as can most others with mental illness. But the stigma persists.

I’ve been told that I just need to stop thinking like I do. I just need to pray more or read my bible more. I just need to get a grip on things. I just need to snap out of it. The list goes on. If I could make the bipolar disorder go away, I would in a heartbeat. But my brain is different than other brains; CAT scans have shown this to be so. I cannot help it and neither can others who have a mental illness. I do pray, I do read my bible, I do try to pull myself up by my bootstraps, yet I still have mental illness.

I don’t think God is saying I don’t do enough, that if I just tried a little harder I’d be miraculously healed. I think he wants me to just trust him for what I need to live life fully as I am. There are paraplegics, diabetics, the blind and deaf, the list goes on, who are trusting God to be there for them, and they are thankful in spite of their difficulties. I seek the same. And if the stigma never ends, I know there is complete acceptance with him and with those who love me.

I write these things because I hope that by being open here, I will give a face to mental illness for the sake of others. Maybe in a small way I will have lessened some of the stigma. It’s worth the risk to me. And I will trust God that my life will not have been in vain, that the bipolar disorder will not define me as a person, but rather foster compassion and acceptance for those who need it. Stigma be damned.