Recently, I joined the ranks of thousands who connect with others via Facebook.com. It began as somewhat of an encouragement from my employer, but I soon found my high school and even grade school had networks. Suddenly, I was in contact with friends of years long ago, people I had lost touch with since graduating in 1973. A whole new world, as well as an old world, has opened to me.
As exciting as it as has been so far, I find myself falling into the comparison trap. I read of the very successful lives of some of my former classmates, of their graduate level educations, high dollar jobs and long successful careers, multi-car garages attached to 5,000 sq. foot homes, vacations in Europe, on and on. I stop and look at mine and I feel somewhat a failure.
My life in high school was tenuous already and I began a 15 year descent into alcoholism and drug addiction. While I managed to get a degree somehow, I lived life as though nothing mattered but getting high. While many of my classmates were building successful lives, I was destroying mine. It would be a long time until I would discover that I had been self medicating, but even that has its bad point. While they all were healthy, I was becoming increasingly ill. All in all, I fall short in comparison.
But it’s a dangerous thing to get into comparing oneself with others. The simple truth is we all use different measuring sticks, we all have different standards. But even beyond that, we are all unique and have differing gifts and abilities, none of our own making, because it is God who has done the gifting. The bible gives wisdom about the tendency to compare ourselves with others: …we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. Galatians 5:25b, The Message Translation.
Each of us is an original. How can we be measured in comparison with each other? As I write this, I realize it’s true. Yes, I wasted a lot of precious years. Yes, I have a mental illness. And yes, I have mishandled finances. But I have a wonderful long-term marriage, a precious and gifted son, loyal and loving friends. The more I think about it, the more I realize just what a successful life I have. I may be a late bloomer, but that’s just fine. By the grace of God, I can live the life he fashioned me to live and it’s his measurement of me that matters, and his alone.
The next message I receive from one of my old classmates, I will read and enjoy and not worry about how my life’s story measures up, because in God’s eyes, I am a success.
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3 comments:
I learned a lot from this. Thank you for the scripture, it's exactly what I needed. We are alike in so many ways. The high school, the dope and booze.
Comparing ourselves with others has always been tough for me. I'm short, half blind, C student and normally behind everyone regardless of the situation. Thanks for you words of wisdon. Today (hopefully tomorrow) I will not compare, simply do the best I can, without killing myself to do so. God Bless, Pat
I've done this as well. It's painful what we do to ourselves sometimes isn't it? You should add me on Facebook. I hope you have a great day
Susan! It's been a while. I'm on facebook too! I really appreciated reading your post.
I know while in highschool you may have been "destroying" your life instead of building it up, how many of your high school classmates with all the riches of the world know the Truth? That's where the true measurement lies: what did you do with Jesus? That will be the only question we will be asked by God. That's what a success is. if it wasn't you and your family I would not have followed Christ, and pressed as I have. The Bible says to produce fruit that remains. Your fruit, what your life has produced, in my life, in matt's life and I'm sure many others, is the kind of fruit that you can take with you. Other people's fruit may be the many car garages, or the six digit income, but yours is far more precious: souls, lives, disciples.
When I'm all grown up (ha ha), I want someone to look at my life and say "she follows God, I want to too." Just like I looked at your life and said many years ago. Thank you. blessings! (I'm looking you up on facebook!)
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