A Time of Tears

There is a wonder about Christmas. The anticipation of Christmas Day causes children to hope to find that desired gift under the tree, whose lists for Santa parents hope they can afford. It’s a time for family to gather for sharing joy. For Christians, the Advent season is a time of remembering the true reason for the celebration. The Son of God, Jesus, the Eternal One, stepped into time in the incarnation. Gathering together in worship just adds to the joy of the coming of Christ, the Messiah.

But for some, the time of Advent is a time of sadness and depression. They are the ones who have suffered the death of a loved one. It’s hard to celebrate when the heart is broken, especially if the loss has come during the Christmas season. There is a pall cast over the day and instead of celebration, there is sorrow and grief. The empty place at the dinner table is a source of pain. The “Merry Christmas” greeting hurts and rings hollow.

Jesus came into the world to save sinners, but he also came to bring joy and hope that only God can bestow. Paul said believers do not grieve as the world grieves because we have the hope of resurrection and eternal life. When a Christian dies, it is merely a transition to another life in the presence of God. If we truly believe Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life, then we know the separation is only temporary. But while there is a joy in the journey, the truth is death is a part of our experience.

I lost my mother just a week ago and right now I am numb. It is the only way I will make it through the season. There will be a family gathering and we will share in a common loss. But I also know my mother would want to us to celebrate the coming of Jesus, to care for one another and share fond memories rather than gather to weep. There will be a time to grieve, but my mother is seeing the face of God and that is reason to celebrate. As Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, there is a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.

I am straddling the fence between grief and joy, trying to find a balance that honors the Lord. He understands my grief. I am neither scolded nor expected to be pain-free. I am only asked to remain faithful and trust in the promises of a loving and merciful God. Grace is not meted out in small doses; it flows abundantly from the bottomless vessel that is the heart of the Father. I do have hope of seeing both my parents again. I said goodbye to my dying mother, but knew she was only a shell of what she is now.

All I ask is to be allowed to grieve in my own way, to be prayed over and to be loved in this place. God meets us where we are. He is near us in our pain and our joy. The day will come when loved ones will say goodbye to me. I don’t want them to lose sight of what is true, that though our vessels of clay will break down, the resurrection will bring life again, a life that will never end. I will remember that when the tears fall.