As I am slowly working my way through things at my
late mother’s home, I have recovered lost childhood memories I hadn’t thought
about for decades. Old family photographs, baby shoes, a multicolored knitted
scarf and hat that my mother made for me when I was about five-years-old, and a
photo of me with Pretty, my beloved teddy bear, washed many times over because
I wouldn’t part with it for anything. In fact, I still have Pretty, but he isn’t
so pretty anymore. The pink has turned into a faded tan and one of his eyes no
longer shuts right. But he went everywhere with me, a cuddly companion for a
small child. And like the Velveteen Rabbit, he was loved to the point of his
fur becoming sparse.
Right now, I need a companion that goes everywhere
with me like Pretty did. Not a cuddly childhood toy, but someone who knows who I am and what I’ve been through in my life. I feel like a grown up
orphan. I no longer have any parents to lean on and turn to for the wisdom only
age can bring. A companion to come alongside me and love without measure is a
position only the Lord can fill. He is not an insentient childhood friend. He
is the living God and he gives wisdom, love, acceptance, and understanding beyond
what any human can offer. And he cannot be loved too much. I am ashamed to say
I know I do not harbor enough love for him. Yet, he never stops loving me.
Psalm 139 says, “O Lord, you have searched me and
known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts
from far away. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted
with all my ways…You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me…Where
can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend
to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take
the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even
there your hand shall lead me, and you right hand shall hold me fast.”
The Lord is the companion I seek, and indeed, throughout
the past months, he has faithfully carried me in the darkest of times. Again,
Psalm 139: “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around
me become night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright
as the day, for darkness is as light to you.” My Father’s eyes missed nothing in
the darkness that descended in my life, and Jesus is forever interceding on my
behalf. He sends his Holy Spirit to comfort and console the brokenhearted, the
downtrodden, to become strength for the weak and fearful, and a source of true joy
that turns tears into praise.
In chapter 43, Isaiah writes, “But now thus says the
Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear,
for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass
through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not
overwhelm you; when you walk through
fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the
Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel,
your Savior…”
There is much work to be done on my mother’s estate.
I am in charge of setting up an estate sale. It’s going to be extremely hard to
watch strangers cart off my mother’s belongings, but furniture and other items
are not the sum total of a person. Our essential being is found only in relationship
with Jesus, and our love for him and for others.
We have the Comforter, the Intercessor, the Advocate
to be our companion in life’s journeys. To carry us when we are faint, to bind
up the broken places, and to comfort us in our sorrows. The Holy Spirit is God’s
down payment on his promise to us of the gift of eternal life. We do not wander
aimlessly in this life. We have a guide and companion to walk with us. No
matter how weak we are, his grip is strong and we will not slip from his hands.
And that is a matter of God’s limitless grace.
