The Companion

As I am slowly working my way through things at my late mother’s home, I have recovered lost childhood memories I hadn’t thought about for decades. Old family photographs, baby shoes, a multicolored knitted scarf and hat that my mother made for me when I was about five-years-old, and a photo of me with Pretty, my beloved teddy bear, washed many times over because I wouldn’t part with it for anything. In fact, I still have Pretty, but he isn’t so pretty anymore. The pink has turned into a faded tan and one of his eyes no longer shuts right. But he went everywhere with me, a cuddly companion for a small child. And like the Velveteen Rabbit, he was loved to the point of his fur becoming sparse.

Right now, I need a companion that goes everywhere with me like Pretty did. Not a cuddly childhood toy, but someone who knows who I am and what I’ve been through in my life. I feel like a grown up orphan. I no longer have any parents to lean on and turn to for the wisdom only age can bring. A companion to come alongside me and love without measure is a position only the Lord can fill. He is not an insentient childhood friend. He is the living God and he gives wisdom, love, acceptance, and understanding beyond what any human can offer. And he cannot be loved too much. I am ashamed to say I know I do not harbor enough love for him. Yet, he never stops loving me.

Psalm 139 says, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways…You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me…Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and you right hand shall hold me fast.”

The Lord is the companion I seek, and indeed, throughout the past months, he has faithfully carried me in the darkest of times. Again, Psalm 139: “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.” My Father’s eyes missed nothing in the darkness that descended in my life, and Jesus is forever interceding on my behalf. He sends his Holy Spirit to comfort and console the brokenhearted, the downtrodden, to become strength for the weak and fearful, and a source of true joy that turns tears into praise.

In chapter 43, Isaiah writes, “But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;  when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel,  your Savior…”

There is much work to be done on my mother’s estate. I am in charge of setting up an estate sale. It’s going to be extremely hard to watch strangers cart off my mother’s belongings, but furniture and other items are not the sum total of a person. Our essential being is found only in relationship with Jesus, and our love for him and for others.

We have the Comforter, the Intercessor, the Advocate to be our companion in life’s journeys. To carry us when we are faint, to bind up the broken places, and to comfort us in our sorrows. The Holy Spirit is God’s down payment on his promise to us of the gift of eternal life. We do not wander aimlessly in this life. We have a guide and companion to walk with us. No matter how weak we are, his grip is strong and we will not slip from his hands. And that is a matter of God’s limitless grace.