Reaching out to the Suicidal

I would have written this entry sooner, but was on a wonderful vacation. Got to spend time with my son and see some of the most beautiful places I have been: Washington State. Mt, Rainier  in all its massive snow peaked glory. Water falls everywhere, and the tallest trees I have ever seen. I was able to let go of some of my anxiety and seeing my son helped lift my depression. I felt a sense of peace.

But it didn't last. I came home to another ECT treatment the very next day and a session with my shrink. The depression isn't going away and the insomnia is worsening. He asks me each time he sees me if I am suicidal. Last year I was in the hospital for a week and took the full 12 FMLA weeks off work. I had enough sick leave to stay paid. But this last time I spent 10 days in the hospital and began ECT treatments again while going to work. I don't have the money to stay home this time. Now comes  the medicine merry-go-round. Changing the medications to find a combination that might work.

Then I also came home to the news that a famous person who struggled with addiction, as I did until I went to AA 30 years ago,  but the Bipolar ups and downs were ever present. And right now it is the depressive side that is tormenting me. I want to says I have been in his shoes, but I am not faced with an un-treatable disease on top of it.

But I  do know the pain of deep depression. People often use that word when they are just blue over something for a few days or a week. But clinical depression is way beyond having the blues or just feeling down for  a couple days  because something went wrong or didn't work out as had hoped, or any other many reasons.

If you use that word, then go see a psychiatrist. It is a life  altering disorder and has the potential to lead to suicide. And  even if it does n't go that far, it colors your whole world and the people in  your life are affected by it, too. Deep depression can disable a person to the point that they can no longer work, maintain hygiene, be unable to carry on conversations, or even leave the house, isolating completely.

Those are the most severe cases, but many feel that way, but have, with all their energy been able to hide the depression and function.  But inside they are slowly crumbling and no one seems to notice. Still there are signs. Self put-downs, lack of a higher level of normal energy, poor  appetite or gaining rapid weight. Less creativity, and a level of isolating. When you see these things, it's time to  attempt to be a friend who tries to draw out feelings and listen carefully. If the word suicide is ever  mentioned, it's time to take it  not as a joke, but a cry for help. Encourage that person to go to see a psychiatrist, or even offer to take them to an ER. Plans for how to do it may already been made.

Clinical depression is a serious disorder that can be treated if you can provide a trusting friendship where the truth can come out and going to the safety of a hospital. There are medications, ECT, therapy and support groups. Suicide doesn't have to  be the final step in dealing with depression. So pay attention to those who exhibit those signs and get them to the help they need. It  may take some effort, some convincing conversations. Educate yourself so you can be the difference  between a person's suffering and their getting help. You  may turn out to be the only one who makes the difference.