Pain's Lesson

I’ve been on a hiatus from blogging for the past several months. Life sometimes gets in the way, but right now I’m sitting on the couch with my laptop nursing a broken leg. Good time as any to write.

I broke it ten days ago, and I don’t know what I did. I walked on it for over a week, in excruciating pain thinking it was an arthritis flare in my ankle. Never broke a bone before and the thought never entered my mind of that possibility. I finally sought medical help and the x-ray showed a clear break above the ankle. One friend called me a bad-ass and my son said I was hardcore to have gone that long before seeking help. But pain eventually gets you where you need to go.

Pain is a great motivator. Whether it’s physical or mental, it can only be ignored for so long. Even the most hardened people will eventually respond to pain’s insistent prodding. How we respond reveals our true emotional state. Some people waste no time when they hurt and seek help right away. Their emotional I.Q. is high. They realize when they are in high water and seek out what they need to not only survive, but to thrive in their circumstances.

Some take much longer and respond in unhealthy ways to pain. I fall into that category at times. Since I’m being totally honest, I can say I’ve come a long way from the days of self-destructive behaviors. My response to pain is more often to look for the cause than to cover up. Alcoholics drink to minimize pain. It works for awhile, until the pain of over consumption brings its own suffering: Broken relationships, lost jobs, lost self-esteem, jail, loss of health and even death.

Alcohol, drugs, risky behaviors, violence, and suicide are all ways to deal, albeit unhealthy, with pain. But pain is supposed to motivate us to seek help. It’s an alarm system to warn us something is not right. Whether it’s emotional, spiritual or physical, pain is an unavoidable part of our lives. And while it’s unpleasant, it’s ultimately a good thing. It brings awareness to our true condition. Life without pain might sound good, but like the butterfly that gains strength through struggle, so do we. I look back over the years and see good coming out of turmoil. My broken places leak mercy.

So, this bad-ass, hardcore lady is staying off her leg and letting people take care of her. I’m having to learn not to feel guilty about it. I can also say with absolute conviction, if this ever happens again, I will let pain guide me to seek help sooner than later.