Slowly, but Faithfully

My regular readers know much of my history: Alcoholism, drug abuse, and mental illness to name a few things I have written about. I may have also written about my struggle with PTSD from a home invasion in which I was beaten, robbed, and threatened with a knife. Some circumstances were before I wholly embraced Jesus, some after. 

My history includes things that added to what I've named left me a broken person. Some of the brokenness was self-inflicted, some resulted from what others have done to me, and some to which no fault can be assigned. While sins were committed against me by unbelievers before my life changed radically, some have been at the hands of Christians who have been quick to judge me by my past. I have been open about much of my history, but more often than not I stay silent because of the rejection I have experienced in the Church, wounding an already wounded person. 

Like Humpty Dumpty, people can be shattered by self-committed sins, sins of others, and the circumstances life sometimes deals us. And like him, we cannot be put back together again by human effort. I can't heal myself. I nor others are able to reassemble the person I was before my life went south. But there is hope for what seems to be a hopeless condition; the words Jesus spoke to his disciples that I use as a signature tag in my emails: With God, all things are possible.

What is impossible for us, is not beyond God's healing power. But it's a lifelong process, often with two steps forward and one step back, at least that's how it's been for me. I so want to say I am utterly healed and whole, but I'm not. Yet, the Holy Spirit is active within my heart, mind, and soul working the healing process. Like Paul, I've pleaded with him in the past to remove the constant pricking of thorns, but he hasn't. Why does God not heal us right away? Gradually I have come to understand the answer to that question. God's plan for me, and other broken people, is complete dependence on him throughout our lives in this world. 

I believe it was the author Henri Nouwen who wrote God's grace, mercy, and light leak through the fissures of our brokenness, drawing other broken people to him. Honestly, I would be a poorer person was I completely whole right now. I would likely be a Christian who shows little mercy toward frail people who are seeking sanctuary in Christ. 

God knows me better than I or others know me. He knows without utter dependence I would shrivel on the vine by striking out in my own strength and wisdom, causing more brokenness. Knowing that makes me cling to my Savior. It's what he wants for all broken people. And frankly, if everyone asked, God would gladly reveal their brokenness. I am not alone. My experiences may be different, but all have sinned and all have been sinned against and are broken. What an opportunity God gives us to channel his abundant grace to the hurting people he brings to us, and he will bring them. And if we allow, he will also bring people into our lives whose presence he uses to show his loving acceptance of who we were and where we are now in the healing process.  

Slowly, but faithfully he heals while his mercy and grace flow through our broken places showing there is indeed hope for all.