I've written about my dear friend, Lauren, several times as she has struggled to live in an ICU tethered to machines designed for short-term use. Lauren was on them for months, her lungs unable to function in a life-maintaining way. But people from all over the U.S. were praying for a miracle to happen so Lauren would not only live but be able to return to normal. I know heaven was being bombarded. My prayers were among them.
But so many things kept going wrong. Not to be irreverent, but it was like medical whack-a-mole. They'd get one thing sort of under control when a reaction to a drug or a procedure would force another drastic intervention, all the while her kidneys were taking a hit from all the highly toxic drugs designed to extend life. Endless infections, endless pain, endless days and nights in a bed with ICU-induced hallucinations at times. My prayers gradually changed.
After a phone call in mid-April that she was dying imminently only to rally, I've known deep within it was soon. My prayers changed to praying for God's merciful best for her. And in his mercy, he called her home last night. I had the opportunity to send Lauren a video message that her mother played for her. I wish I had said more. I wanted to actually say goodbye and that we'd meet in heaven, but that would have upset her, I know. But I did say I missed her and I loved her dearly. I don't know if she heard it while it was played. I hope so.
My heart is so broken. But her mother has now lost her third child. As much as my heart has shattered by my loss, it breaks for her bereft mother as well. So when you pray after reading this, (and I know you will), pray for Lauren's mother, too, who knows a pain I pray I never experience.
God's merciful best turned out to be the prayer I should have prayed all along. Now I pray it for the family left behind.
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