God's Timetable

As a favorite band, Chicago, sang, "Feeling stronger every day." After three physical therapy sessions, I'm walking a little better. There is pain, but it's manageable with ibuprofen. My foot and ankle swell pretty badly by the end of the day if I have walked a lot, but that's to be expected. My goal is to be off the walker and using a cane by the time physical therapy is complete. My leg muscles are weak, but I'm exercising them. Compared to where  I was a month ago, this is excellent progress. 

As much as I want to move faster, I have to be content with slow and steady. I can't be deterred if my goal isn't reached according to my timetable. It will be hard if I haven't graduated to a cane in five weeks, but I will battle discouragement.

 It can be hard when our plans don't come to pass when we expect. Learning God's timing doesn't always line up with ours can be difficult. At least it can be for me. I can think of many times throughout the years when I was disappointed, even dejected when my dreams were delayed. And sometimes, our dreams aren't even in God's plans for us. I wanted to be a composer. I enrolled in a university conservatory only to drop out. It's not that I had no talent for it, fear of failure won out. 

Looking back I see my talents were to be used for other purposes. I did compose, but not symphony music. I wrote contemporary Christian songs. I also dreamed of making it big but my two albums never sold well. I spent forty years playing guitar and singing for churches. I never would have guessed my life would follow that path. Maybe I wasn't an Amy Grant or Darlene Zschech, but my talent was used according to God's plan for my life. It was a good plan. 

I have also learned I'm not the one who is the judge of my life. I have a judge and he is more compassionate than I am. He sees deep into my heart and knows me better than I know myself. Motives I don't always understand or deny are laid bare to him. Yet he loves me unconditionally. My judge is God and I know he is not a harsh judge, unlike humans who frequently are. I know he is not swayed by special interests or bribes. He answers the demands of the law and accusations by looking to my Savior who paid the ultimate price for my failures, whether intentional or not. I have the gift of peace knowing that.

Dreams and plans will continue to go according to God's plan and timetable. We can accept it or fight it to our own turmoil. I will try to continue to trust God for how my life plays out. I will trust his judgments, for he is all-merciful and all-knowing.