This evening I have to put my beloved dog, Zed, to sleep. He is in great pain and we had to make that very difficult decision. Extensive surgery may have helped, but he also very recently became lame in a back leg from severe arthritis and is hobbling painfully on three legs, groaning. A greatly enlarged nonfunctioning kidney plus the ureter would have to be surgically removed, as well as a possible malignant ear issue also requiring surgery that we just can't put him through.
We brought him home from the vet for his last night with us and kept giving him medication to help ease his pain so we could prepare our hearts to say a final goodbye. But how difficult it is to once again outlive a dearly loved pet. I know this will happen, yet I continually bring dogs home and fall in love with them only to once again face another heartbreak.
I still cry over all my dogs if I allow my mind to dwell on them too long. Fond memories eventually end with the final memory of having to bravely say, "Good boy. I love you. You are such a good dog" while fighting raging emotions so your pet's final moments are not picking up on your feelings. That is the most difficult part. I've only had one dog die peacefully in their sleep. All the rest have had to be put down for merciful reasons.
Zed was an SPCA dog adoption. All my pets have been adopted or just found wandering with no one stepping forward to claim them after seeking the owner. When we finally decided to get another dog after the last one, I got online and began looking at local shelter listings. I read about one that sounded like a possibility and we went to meet him. He came out growling at people, including us. Nope, not a good fit. But they suggested we go through the kennel to see if there was another dog we might want, so we strolled through.
It seemed every dog was hyper, jumping up and down and barking. We saw some that were really cute, but too high energy. As we kept looking we came to one who was just sitting there, looking up at us. He was a large hound mix. We paused then kept moving. A few feet on we turned around and went back. It was the face, the big brown sad eyes that reeled us in. They took him out of the kennel and he perked up but didn't jump and bark. He was just wagging his tail furiously and licking our hands like he knew he was coming home with us.
I noticed immediately he was a shedder and we had recently lost a German Shepherd mix that shed terribly. I said no more shedding dogs. But it was love at first sight. I just resigned myself to the fact we'd have hair everywhere. We've only had his companionship for eight years. I want more time, but I'm not going to get it. So again, my tears are falling pretty much nonstop, except when I reach out to pet him.
Scripture says creation was subjected to decay after the fall of Adam and Eve, but only so it will inherit eternity with us. It is groaning in labor along with us, awaiting Christ's return. I remind myself dogs were intended to live with us never to die, but disobedience brought death into the world. So I know this cycle of life and death is going to continue until Christ puts death under his feet.
I like to think all my dogs will be there to greet me when I die. I don't know that I can support it with scripture, but it comforts me to think so. I cannot help but believe God cares very much about the animals we love, if only because we love them. All my dogs have loved me unconditionally and that teaches me about God's unconditional love. Maybe that is why they are so special to humans, why we bond so deeply with them and they with us.
You're a good dog, Zed. Good boy. I love you.
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